Prayer

I am so glad for the gift of prayer that God has provided us.  Prayer brings peace to me in times of trouble, distress, pain, hurt and even happiness.  Prayer for me can be bowing to my knees, simply bowing my head, or even just talking out loud to God with my eyes wide open.  I feel I can talk to God about anything and I do quite frequently.  I didn't realize till recently that the gift of intercession was something God had given me.  With that said anyone can pray anytime and anywhere.  We took a spiritual gift assessment at our church and while intercession was not my number one gift, it did rank as number 3.  With that awareness I now look at prayer in a slightly different way.  I have always been taught if you do not use your gifts you will lose them.  Before this assessment showed this gift, I prayed but now I feel empowered to pray.  Does that make sense?  I feel it is my duty.  And No, I am not praying now as a job I have to do but I feel that God places things on my heart that He wants me to pray for and I feel led to pray for them.  This urge to pray sometimes feels like a weight on my heart but when I pray God lifts that weight.  Sometimes the need to pray for an individual or situation remains on my heart.  Tonight I am once again feeling that heaviness.  It's not a bad thing, in a way I feel it is a privilege to feel the urge to pray and to continue to feel that urge even after the initial prayer.  I know His spirit is calling me, I know He is connecting with me, and I know I have a job to do.  So I pray,  I believe and I trust that my prayers will be heard.  I firmly believe that God answers prayers.  I believe my God can heal and correct situations instantly.  I also know that God has a plan for each of his children's lives and I believe that He works His will in each of our lives.  Since taking a discipleship class on prayer last spring I pray God's will be done even when it is not my will.  What is better than His Will.......nothing even if we don't understand it.  So God's Will Be Done in my life and in others. 
Tonight I am praying for Charles Humphries a 16 year old with cancer.  Charles was taken back to Chapel Hill this afternoon.  Please remember him and his family in your prayers.

I am also praying for fellow choir member Peggy Bowers.  Peggy is in Chapel Hill's burn center with a reaction to medication that is called Steven Johnson syndrome.  It is causing burn like symptoms all over her body.  This is very rare and she is on life support and being kept sedated while this process continues in her body.  Her husband today said she will get worse before she gets better. 

Also we received a prayer request tonight for a mom of 2 small children that attempted suicide today.  This breaks my heart.  I think of those fighting for their lives and the fact that someone was low enough to try to take theirs prematurely breaks my heart.  Please, please remember her in prayer.

God is Good and He has provided us the gift of prayer for a reason.  Yes, He already knows these requests but He wants to hear from us and by praying for these request we get to be apart of the blessing that is received when these prayers are answered. 

Thanks for all the prayers for me.  My markers were down to 141 this week.  MRI will be done on Wednesday.  God is working in my life.  I told my mom today I wanted a tshirt that said....I am a miracle....ask me how.  My life, each day is a gift from God.  To see my child start middle school was a gift.  Oh How I love HIM and I will say it a million times....I don't deserve His love or His goodness to me but He provides it anyway.  Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that Name!  Master, Savior, Jesus, like the fragrance after the rain.  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, let all heaven and earth proclaim, Kings and Kingdoms may all pass away but there's something about that name. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

Time flies except in a hurricaine

Wow its been over a week since I posted.  Last week was kind of a different week.  We had an earthquake and a hurricane in one week.  Wow!  The earthquake really took me by surprise but made me instantly think of the Toby Mac song...."Break Open the Sky"  It says "turn off gravity so we can fly.  I wanna see your face so tear the roof off this place, Jesus, Break open the sky.  Come Jesus Come, Come Quickly, Come quickly".  Earthquakes make me think of the end days and I believe we are living in them.  Really I do.  So yes Jesus, Come Quickly.  Then on Saturday we had the hurricane.  Talk about a long day.  We lost power during the night Saturday morning and did not get it back until about 24 hours later on Sunday morning.  Entertaining Maggie was a lot of fun.  She immediately got bored.  No TV, no lights, only a radio.  We ended up at my in laws and then at my moms for entertainment.  Thankfully nothing was harmed at our house during the storm.  My in laws lost part of a pecan tree and my mom lost some branches from trees plus a crepe myrtle.  Over all we faired pretty well.  Yay God!!!

Tomorrow is chemo day again for me.  In some ways it is just another day for me.  It usually makes me sleepy.  I get nauseated sometimes and I won't eat as good for the next couple of days because it kinda takes my appetite away.  That is minor complications considering all the good it is doing me.  So I take it gladly and thank God for the gift of medicine. 

I do have some prayer requests for you.  Please remember a fellow choir member in your prayers.  Her name is Peggy Bowers and she had a severe reaction to antibiotics that is called Steven Johnson syndrome.  She is actually in the burn center at UNC now and on life support.  They are saying she is in very serious condition and needs our prayers.  PLEASE PRAY.

Also remember my friend Karen Sullivan in your prayers.  She left this morning for Haiti for the week.  She is serving with a medical team there.  Pray for safety for her and that she will be used of God in the work she is doing there. 

Lastly still remember Charles Humphries in your prayers.  He is still undergoing weekly chemo treatments and having difficulty with dehydration. 

I know God is good and He has us all in His righteous right hand. 
Love you God

Love you all

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up

Tammy

Exalt His Name....Make His Name Famous

My Pastor Billie Lawson preached a wonderful message this morning.  It is still echoing in my head.  I like a message that makes you think.  His main scripture was

 Isaiah 12:4
 In that day you will say:
“Give praise to the LORD, proclaim his name;
make known among the nations what he has done,
and proclaim that his name is exalted.
Isaiah 12:4

He talked about the commandments and how we use God's name in vain but the main point of the message was that are we taking the credit for what God has done.  Are we more concern with being famous than God being famous.  I can do nothing except what God gives me strength to do. 

My post today is to say that GOD IS GOOD.  I am still alive because of His Great Love for me.  He is my Healer.  I do believe that He uses the gift of medicine to heal.  I sometimes don't know what to say when people come to me and mention what is going on in my life.  IT'S ALL GOD!  NOTHING BUT GOD.  Do I deserve it.....NO!  Am I a sinner saved by GRACE....YES.  I am slayed by the fact he loves me enough to provide for me, to heal me, to love me.  I do so many things wrong.  No I don't focus my thoughts on Him as I should, No, I don't read my Bible as I should, No, I don't even pray as much as I should.  I feel guilty about that and sometimes I kick it up a notch only to have it die back down.  I am so glad He is forgiving and that He loves unconditionally.  So if you happen to be watching my life story unfold.  Please know that I am the clay and He is the POTTER.  I am nothing without HIM.  All the good in my life is because of HIM.  There is nothing I have done to deserve it.  I just love God and He loves me.  I believe in Him with all my heart, mind and soul and I know there is nothing that He can't do.  I trust Him completely in all things!

Oh How I love the name of Jesus....Oh How I love His name so sweet!!!!

Love you all and Give God the Glory in all things
My numbers are still dropping.  I am at 240 down from 361...to God be the Glory

Please continue to pray for Charles Humphries also.  He is fighting cancer also and at 16 I know it is tough.  Pray for strength, appetite, peace and comfort for him and his family. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up

Tammy W

About that dream....

In the last couple of days my mind has drifted back to the dream I had before my cancer diagnosis.  I think alot about the lions in my dream.  Mostly the lion I believe to be God.  I am so thankful that God provided me with that dream prior to this journey and that he brought it to remembrance as the journey began.  I am also thankful that He keeps it in my memory so that I don't forget to remember him.  The strength to face a lion is provided to me by facing the Lion that Is God.  I do believe in my dream that the one lion was the cancer and the one I stood face to face with was God and He offered me protection, security and peace.  That is how I stood there praising my God because He was there.  With all that said He is HERE!  My God is awesome!

It is amazing sometimes when the image of a lion pops up in my life because when it does I immediately think of my dream which leads to thinking of God.  What a Good thing!  Yesterday morning I went to pick Maggie up from a church lock-in that she was attending with friends and notice that the bookstore beside the church was named "The Lion and the Lamb".  Love that name.  I think of the book of Isaiah sometimes when it says that the Lion will lie down with the lamb and I love that imagery.  What an awesome gift God gave me, a dream to comfort me, reassure me and to provide me with peace.  I just have to look straight into the face of God.  Sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine Him being right before me.  You know....He is close by all the time.  As close as a whisper.  He lives within me.  Oh How I love HIM.

I do have to say that I have had another dream.  I dreamt about a week ago about a party that was being given for me.  A big party where all my friends and family had come to celebrate.  My grandparents were there which is amazing because they are in heaven now.  I saw my grandpa very clearly in my dream.  In my dream I was over my sickness and I was regaining my strength.  My mom was concerned that I wasn't strong enough just yet for swimming at this party but I did it.  It was a weird dream in a way.  Not as clear in meaning as my other dream but I think there was a purpose for it because I can't seem to forget it.  Guess I will keep thinking on it and see if some meaning pops out on it.

Enough about dreams.  I do have chemo this coming Tuesday.  It seems like it has been awhile since I had it but it will have only been 2 weeks.  I am really thinking that i will get a break from this shortly or perhaps a break from it permanently.  My markers are still dropping and being in the 300s now I don't have far to get to 0.  YAY!

One other thing.....I sang with the choir this morning.  It has been awhile since I did that.  It felt great and I give God the Glory for the strength and ability to get up there and sing.  I love singing praises to my King and I love the song we sang this morning.  I am especially looking forward to Saturday night when we are having a community type choir singing at our church.  The civitan is hosting a benefit for Backpack buddies and have invited choirs to come and sing.  Our choir is gonna sing and I know the choir from Interstate Ministries is gonna be there.  The part I can't wait for is the fact that we get to sing a song with the Interstate Ministries choir.  I love when choirs get together and sing.  We have done this with another choir in the past and it was great.  So come on Saturday.  I will be there and you can too if you like.  It's at Wilson's Mills Baptist Church Saturday August 20th at 7pm. 

Love you all

Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!

...please continue to remember Charles Humphries in your prayers.  He is the 16yr old with cancer.  He received chemo on Thursday and is not eating.  I understand this completely because even if it doesn't make you sick it does take your appetite away.  I don't really care to eat after I have chemo but I make myself.  Please pray for strength, doctor's wisdom, appetite return and peace for Charles and his family.  Please also pray for healing.  God is Good and He is Able!

Tammy

The things that fly around in my head! (and its not sawdust)

I have had a lot on my mind since Sunday.  I know that God is working mightily in my life.  I have know doubt about this.  He is blowing me away on a daily basis.  My markers are low.  Scans should be repeated soon and then we will see what happens next.  God will be with me thru out all of these test and appointments.  Our church service on Sunday was awesome!  The youth led us in worship and Hands down "Our God" may be my favorite worship song now.  And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us and if our God is with us then what can stand against.....then what can stand against.  (NOTHING)  God has this!  There was special prayer given at the end of service for Charles Humphries and Mr. Buddy Womack.  I was in tears.  Pastor Billie then said there was a miracle in our midst and he asked where I was.  I raised my hand.  He told the congregation that I was given a death sentence in February (and I was) then I applied for disability and was immediately granted for it which is not normal.  If you look up Pancreatic Cancer its a 5 month longevity.  Here it is 6 months and I feel better and hopefully coming up on the opportunity to stop chemo (oh...how I hope so).  Pastor Billie proclaimed I was healed....I looked at Misty who stood right beside me and said ...I don't know that.  She then told me that God was speaking to Billie and what he was saying was God's word....I need to proclaim it.  I do believe Billie to be a man of God that seeks His face prior to speaking to his sheep.  I know that what I hear in his sermons is coming from my Father God.  So why not claim  He spoke it and it is mine.  I am Healed!!!!  I love God!  He is still asking me to write a book about this.  I will use this blog as a base for it.  I will also use my dream and the responses that I got to it in part of it.  I also had a new dream this week.  I was celebrating a party that I assumed was my birthday but the concern at the party was if i would go swimming because I have been weak enough this year that I did not want to have to climb out of the pool.  I need a 0 degree entry point.  I went swimming and got out and every one was so excited.  In a way I think this was a party symbolizing my healing.  My grandparents that had past on were both present.  My Mom and my Maggie were there.  I have not gotten in a pool but if I get a clear report.  I will jump in and ask that remaining hair to hold on. : )  On a funny note I asked mom about getting into the hurricane tank at the mall but we were afraid that my hair would really be out of control.  Don't want to scare people when I exited the compartment.  LOL.  I  will hold off on that for now. 
Can I tell you another thing that is flying thru my head.  Its called flight of ideas.  yes I was diagnosed.  The Song Our God......

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome and power

Our God, Our God...

And if our God if for us then who can ever stop 

and if our God is for us then what can stand against.

What can stand against.

Love Love love this song. 

God is answering our prayers individually and the prayers of our church.  He is at work and the Devil is not Happy  but nothing can stand against God!  Glad I am on the same rock as He is .  He's my Rock

Love you God!!!

Love you Jesus!!!

Love you Holy Spirit!!!

Your Daughter ..... Tammy

It's Saturday and it's been a week since I posted.

Wow, it has almost been a week since I posted anything.  My how time flies.  Just to keep you up to date.  I did get chemo on Tuesday and everything went o.k.  I hadn't slept good for a few nights before Tuesday so Monday night I took an Ambien to sleep.  I slept Monday night, pretty much all day Tuesday and it lasted into Wednesday.  I won't take another one of those for awhile.  Wow...they take me out and make me moody.  For some reason they make me cry in the days after I take them. 
I went back on Thursday to have my pump removed and my markers are down to 361 and that was with them being drawn the week before when I didn't have chemo.  So I dropped 112 points during that 3 week period.  YAY GOD!  I still haven't talked with the doctor to find out where what's next.  I pretty much slept thru our conversation on Tuesday.  I guess I will find out the next time huh? 

Yesterday and today I have spent at my moms.  David and Maggie are camping and since it was so close to getting chemo I chose not to go tent camping with them.  They are having a good time and me and my mom are having a restful time.  My two nieces Brittany and Heather and my nephew Brandon were all at my moms on Friday so we just spent time talking which is not something families do alot of these days.  I really enjoyed that.  Brittany's new baby girl, Levi (oops, Peanut) was with her and I got to do alot of holding that precious little girl.  Right now she truly only sleeps, eats and poops.  She would sometimes pops those eyes open and when she did I would remind her of what a Great Aunt I truly am.  She might as well be taught the truth ....huh? 

Mom and I did venture out a little this afternoon.  We went shopping but only bought one thing and its a secret for now even though I don't think Maggie will see this before she gets it.  She will be so Excited and it is just a simple little thing for the Best Daughter In The World.   I did look at clothes some for myself.  I think I am gonna have to dig in my closet a bit for some smaller clothes.  I have lost approx. 60 lbs since the first of the year and my mother in law was already picking on me and today my mom is even agreeing with her.  It must be all the hair that has fallen from my head (LOL) cause it sure is getting thin up there but I haven't shaved it yet.  If you have seen it my hair is now frizzy....I guess from the chemo.  Since there is less of it up there the frizz is helping it not look so thin but it is definitely not what I am used to.  It bothers me sometimes (I have to admit) but I am alive and God is at work and hair is a small thing compared to all the other stuff.  (let me say that to myself 100 times now). 

I will post this for everyone that has brought us meals.  I have asked Kristy to stop it for now.  There is so much need at our church for others to receive meals and I feel better than I did at the beginning of this diagnosis and I think that between David and myself that we can do this.  Thank you for all that has been brought.  It has been very appreciated.  I will admit that I didn't eat much of it just because that is how my appetite goes but it has been a help to David and Maggie.

Please also continue to pray for all that the hurt, sickness, strife, and sin in this world.  My heart is full with thoughts of others going thru the same types of sickness as me and others.  Please remember Charles Humphries and his family in your prayers.  Charles is 16 yrs old and was recently diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing chemo now.  There are others I could mention but God knows them all.  Keep lifting them up in prayer.  Keep remembering me in prayer. 



LOVE YOU ALL

KEEP PRAYING AND KEEP LOOKING UP.....NOT JUST FOR ME BUT FOR YOUR OWN LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES.  GOD CAN AND STILL DOES WORK MIRACLES TODAY!

Tammy

God is REAL

In our Sunday School lesson this morning the topic came up about how God works in the Bible.  That we can read about His nature, His grace, His mercy and His love for the people whose stories are contained within the pages of His Book.  As I sat there and listened to the discussion it struck me that alot of people limit God to the stories contained within those pages.  As I sat there with my Bible in its cover with a zipper closure, I realized that it would be very easy to let my experience with God live within those pages.  That I could easily zip Him up and let my knowledge of Him be limited by what is contained in His word.  While I am encouraged and strengthen by the word in the Bible, I really am very thankful for the Real God that I find and experience outside of those pages.  The concern in our class today is that people don't share their stories anymore of how God is working in their lives.  The people in the Bible most likely didn't have the written word the way we do today to reference so their belief was based on the stories that were passed down from generation to generation.  Now 2000 years since Jesus left this earth there are still stories everyday that could be written about God's greatness, love and works.  It is our job to share our stories with others.  I strongly feel called of God to share my story with others so that is what I am doing.  I posted the question today on facebook asking how do you know God is working in your life now?  (I don't think it was worded exactly like that but it is close).  I was hoping to get people to share how they know God is real and so far I have 4 answers which have blessed me and hopefully others.  Until you have to rely fully on God you may not know God for how Real He is.  When you have the opportunity to feel God's power and see His active work in your life it then it becomes your job to share it.  With that said not everything we experience is something we can share but if you feel God's prompting to share, I encourage you to do so.  Let that one person or the world know How Great He Is!  That's what my Blog is about.  Facing a Lion with God on my side.  Yes one Lion is God and the other is the cancer.  I have learned that facing God takes all the focus off the other worries, concerns, and disappointments in my life aka the other lion.  I choose to face God because He IS REAL, HE IS ALIVE AND HE IS WORKING EVEN NOW.  How do I know?  My tumor  markers are down.  My strength has increased.  My skin color per others is better.  See there is no set treatment for my type of cancer but God is placing the right doctors, nurses and others in my path to accomplish His Will.  I am a walking testimony to God's realness and greatness.  And if He will do it for me, He will do it for you. 

Praising God for His greatness!  I could go on forever on this subject and one day I will.  That's what heaven will be about.  : )

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Love you all

Tammy