Thursday, February 23, 2012

Almost a year since dianosis

Good Afternoon,

I am headed to Caswell once again this weekend and I can't wait.  It is a special place to me and more so because of last year.  I literally checked out of the hospital and came home, got my clothes and went to Caswell.  I got a lot of talking to God done that weekend.  It was truly a blessing.  I came to peace with my new diagnosis sitting on a pier waiting for my dolphins to arrive in the morning.  Every year that I have been to Caswell, I have gone out to the pier as the sun was coming up and watched the dolphins that splash around the end of the pier.  they are so peaceful.  Last year I was crying as I was watching for them and all of a sudden I heard a splash and there they were.  My dolphins.  There is at least 3 or 4 probably more that pop up now and then.  I love seeing them.  they are such awesome animals created by God.  So here I am a year later.  Actually Saturday will be a year for me.  All is good.  My pancreas is stable.  There is a new spot on my liver ????????????? that we are watching and my tumor makers went slightly up to 29 this week.  God is still on top of this and I know without a doubt that His hand is right on mind.  I have peace in knowing this!!!!  It is awesome to know He loves me and cares so much for me.  I love him so too!!!  I don't know where I would be in my life right now if it wasn't for God, His son, and His spirit.  God is good!!!  Way to good for me but I will take his goodness everyday that He offers it.  So I can't wait to get down there tomorrow.  Maybe I'll have another little talk with Jesus.  Sounds like a good idea to me. 

Love you all!!!

Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!!!

Tammy

Thursday, February 16, 2012

King Hezekiah

Now King Hezekiah was very sick, and the prophet Isaiah came to him again. At first Isaiah told the king that he would die. Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord and wept. Turning his face to the wall was like bowing down to the ground. This and his prayer and weeping were signs that he was humble before the Lord. Isaiah had not gone far, only into the middle court, or it may mean to the middle part of the city, when the Lord sent him back to tell the king that He would add fifteen years to his life

I wanted to share this story because this is part of my prayer to God.  I pray for healing but I have also prayed for God to lengthen my days.  He is answering my prayer.  I got the results from my MRI.  It shows that the pancreas part is stable but a new lesion was found on my liver.  1.1cm in size.  Please know that this does not bother me.  I know my God hears my prayers and they are being answered with out a doubt in my mind.  God is Good and His mercy endures forever!  He will do His Will in His time and in His Way! 

Just wanted to share my results with everyone.  I haven't talked with the doctor yet about this.  I will see him on Tuesday.  I went to the hospital and got a copy of my MRI report so my interpretation and his may be different.  I will keep you posted on what the Doctor says.

Love you all

Keep Looking Up!!!!

Tammy

Monday, February 13, 2012

Life

This morning as I watch the news and so much of it is on the life of Whitney Houston, I am reminded once again of the uncertainty of life.  She did not know when she checked into that hotel room that she would never physically check out.  Life is short...really it is.  Even if you are lucky enough to live to 90 and beyond it is still short.  So get the most of every day while you can.  A year ago I was given a possibly life shortening diagnosis.  That created a sense of what do I wanna get done in the time that I have.  Oh...there are places I would love to go but I don't have the money for that.  There are things I would do and things I am doing.  There are people I would like to spend more time with and some of that I am doing.  Life goes by so quickly for everyone!  The most important things are making sure you are right with God!!!  (I hope Whitney was) , letting your family know you love them and spending time with them and after that a lot of the other things are just stuff. 

So my advice (as if you asked) is to make sure you are right with God!!!!
Love your family and let them know it
and then tend to the other stuff. 

As for me, I feel I am right with God - nope, I am not perfect in fact I am a work in action.  (He's still working on me to make me what he wants me to be). 

I have an MRI today.  I will let you all know something when I do about the results.  God is Good and I fully expect His spirit will be calming me as I lie there today. 

Love you all

Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!!!

Tammy

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Dropping by to say HI

Good Saturday morning to everyone.

Nothing new to tell everyone really.  My tumor markers were at 18 this week which was up from 14 but it is normal for them to fluctuate so that isn't worrying me at all.  I will be getting an MRI on the 13th of February and we will go from there.  As for day to day life, everything is good.  I will say that if you see me now you may not know me.  I need to take a new picture to post on here so maybe some of you might know me if you see me.  I have lost around 100 pounds since last year and last week I cut my hair.  It is a very short hair cut.  I had lost a lot of hair and though I had right much on the top of my head there wasn't much you could do to style it.  I was wearing a head band everyday and the hair on my left side of my head you could see thru.  If you are wondering what you could see .... it was new hair.  Even though I am still getting chemo I had a head full of short hair growing and mixed in with all those long scraggly pieces so I went to my wonderful hair stylist, Jenny Wright and she did a GREAT JOB!  There were people at my church on Sunday that thought I was one of the new people that had recently joined the choir ; )  (and these people see me every week).  So if you see me you really may not recognize me.  So while I am on that subject, I will admit that sometimes that is a useful thing - the not being recognized part.  Yes, I am guilty of letting people pass me by that don't recognize me.  SORRY - but I would never do that to any of my blog readers ; )    I had an instance of that yesterday where I didn't speak to someone that I used to know.  Part of that was because the last time I saw that person was before I got sick and they didn't remember me so I knew they wouldn't know me now.  I hope no one thinks this is mean...I really have gone out of my way a couple of times to say Hi and still have been met with and "ok who is that crazy lady" only to have them come back to me in a few minutes and say .... "I didn't know that was you when I saw you a few minutes ago."  Its o.k. with me.  I don't look the same and I am not the same person I was a year ago.  So see it is really a two way street there and a question for me of if the effort is worth the effort.  HUH??? 

Well I have written enough this morning.  I got to get the trash ready for pick up.  And I am feeling the need for a bacon and egg sandwich this morning. 

One other note, I am still doing my read through the Bible and I am really enjoying it.  I am doing it online with the one year Bible blog and it is great.  It is still not to late to start a reading plan.  Go to Bible Gateway.com and pick one out and then you can even return everyday and read the next date's scriptures or go buy a thru the Bible in a year Bible.  These are sectioned off with the date noted for you to read it.  They make those Bibles in a standard Genesis to Revelation version, a chronological version, or the version I am reading which is reading from the OT, NT, Psalm and Proverbs each day.  It makes it very simple for you to pick up and read.  give it a try.  I heard a preacher say yesterday on the radio that we need to READ THE WORD, LEARN THE WORD AND LIVE THE WORD.  Even the devil can quote scripture and he knows what is in the Good Book but He doesn't live it.  DO YOU?  and how can you if you don't read it.  (Ouch...that hurts my toes)

Love you All

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy