Today I was going through some things that I had not seen in a while and they brought a smile to my face. Here is what I found:
A picture of Maggie when she was really little and she looked very fragile - she is not that way now.
A book on praying with scriptures that was highlighted everywhere and it was my grandma's
An old garfield bookmark that said lose my place and I will rearrange your face - that was mine as a teenager.
A letter from Maggie's teacher telling me how good she was in th second grade.
What else makes me smile:
Pictures of my great niece doing anything
My family
My friends
And above all else God makes me smile. I have found my treasure in Him and that is the source of my joy.
So what makes you smile?
"in the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed."
Love you all
Keep praying and keep looking up
Tammy
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Whatever!
I was reading on Mark Batterson's website and came across this writing by Mark:
"This past week I found myself praying “whatever.” It’s a simple expression of surrender to the Lord–I’ll do whatever you want me to do! Whatever. Wherever. Whenever. For the record, I think one-word prayers can be some of the most powerful prayers. God responds to a heartfelt cry for “help” when we don’t know what else to ask for!"
A couple of years ago when I was in the midst of some serious prayer about something going on in my life I remember very plainly God sending that word in my direction. Yes, out of the blue the word "Whatever" came into my thoughts. I started asking God what that was about but the more I thought about it the more I came to the realization that it didn't matter what happened in this particular situation that God had it and so that Whatever happened it would be ok. this Whatever gave me a lot of peace of mind at that time. I even started laughing that day over it because it made me extremely happy. God lifted my spirit with one word. Whatever. It didn't matter what, when, how or where, He would take care of it and I could quit worrying about it. Whatever still pops into my mind every now and then and I always smile over that answered prayer that really didn't have an answer and I can honestly tell you that even today it has not been completely answered. But with the promise of Whatever I offer it in His hands and leave it there so He can do Whatever He needs to do.
God is Good! That post I was reading on Mark Batterson's site brought my whatever back to memory. What a great thing! Give God your problems, burdens, sickness and let Him do whatever is needed.
Update on Me: I am doing good these days. Chemo next week. MRI to be done in a couple of months??? Then we will go from there. I am gonna get me a short hair do this week since most of my longer hair has fallen out but I still have a head full of hair. I may have to post a picture of me on here soon since I now see some people and they don't recognize me. I am the smallest now that I have been since high school. Even when I lost weight on weight watchers a few years ago, I didn't get this small. I am on the chemo diet. (Yuck) I really don't want to get too thin because I like having a little reserves on board. Oh Well.... Ice Cream is my friend these days and so will those girl scout thin mint cookies be my bff : )
Love you all
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
Tammy
"This past week I found myself praying “whatever.” It’s a simple expression of surrender to the Lord–I’ll do whatever you want me to do! Whatever. Wherever. Whenever. For the record, I think one-word prayers can be some of the most powerful prayers. God responds to a heartfelt cry for “help” when we don’t know what else to ask for!"
A couple of years ago when I was in the midst of some serious prayer about something going on in my life I remember very plainly God sending that word in my direction. Yes, out of the blue the word "Whatever" came into my thoughts. I started asking God what that was about but the more I thought about it the more I came to the realization that it didn't matter what happened in this particular situation that God had it and so that Whatever happened it would be ok. this Whatever gave me a lot of peace of mind at that time. I even started laughing that day over it because it made me extremely happy. God lifted my spirit with one word. Whatever. It didn't matter what, when, how or where, He would take care of it and I could quit worrying about it. Whatever still pops into my mind every now and then and I always smile over that answered prayer that really didn't have an answer and I can honestly tell you that even today it has not been completely answered. But with the promise of Whatever I offer it in His hands and leave it there so He can do Whatever He needs to do.
God is Good! That post I was reading on Mark Batterson's site brought my whatever back to memory. What a great thing! Give God your problems, burdens, sickness and let Him do whatever is needed.
Update on Me: I am doing good these days. Chemo next week. MRI to be done in a couple of months??? Then we will go from there. I am gonna get me a short hair do this week since most of my longer hair has fallen out but I still have a head full of hair. I may have to post a picture of me on here soon since I now see some people and they don't recognize me. I am the smallest now that I have been since high school. Even when I lost weight on weight watchers a few years ago, I didn't get this small. I am on the chemo diet. (Yuck) I really don't want to get too thin because I like having a little reserves on board. Oh Well.... Ice Cream is my friend these days and so will those girl scout thin mint cookies be my bff : )
Love you all
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
Tammy
Friday, January 20, 2012
Prayers - they never die
Well, I have finished the book, "The Circle Maker" and I have to say out of all the books I have read in a while, this book has had a major effect on me. The book is on prayer and on circling your prayers over and over again much the way the city of Jericho was circled. Mark Batterson suggests that we dream big, pray hard and think long. Alot of what I will share here are things from the book. The Dream Big part comes from the suggestion that we don't trust God with the big thing in our life. God is there for the small and big things. He is glorified through all things but when we ask for big things and He answers then His name is glorified even more. He suggests that we think of big things to pray for. Yes they have to have a God purpose, praying for a million dollars just because is not what he is talking about. Praying for a million dollars to donate to missions, give to a church or even if you are burden by debt and need that to get you out would be ok. Batterson suggests that you determine what it is you want to pray for and then you write it out, and circle it in prayer. Set some permanence to it so that you pray for it and continue to pray for it. Second, pray hard. Pray until you get an answer. While it may still not be the answer you want the answer will be better than what you want. If what it takes is getting on your face, get on your face. pray for it daily, or fast and pray....just continue to pray. Get others to pray with you, then their is the think long. Our prayers are not all answered ASAP. Some prayers take awhile and others may not be answered in our lifetime. A person doesn't plant a fruit tree for the harvest they will get in a month or two but they plant it for what they will get in the future. Farmers use that kind of foresight they plant today what they will reap later. So we should pray today knowing that the answer may be in the future.
The other thing that still lingers in my mind about the book is the fact that Prayers never Die. He mentions the prayers of grandparents for their children. I think back to my grandma and hearing her pray for me at night. Those prayers are still petitions laying at the feet of Jesus. God still honors them even today. If she ever prayed for my safety ..... He is still answering that prayer. With that in mind, I think it is changing my prayer life especially in how I pray for others particularly my daughter. Knowing that my prayers for her will never die even when I do gives me great PEACE. I am now praying daily not just for Maggie in the here and now but for Maggie's future, for her family that will one day be. I have prayed over all my family differently this week because of this book. There is also the suggestion of praying the promises in the Bible. I am gonna compile a list of God's promises that are directly for us and begin to pray them over the people that I think they are needed for.
There are still some things that I have to work out in my head so that I can circle them. I have some Big things I need to pray for. Yes there is healing that I can pray for but I have a few other things that I would love to see God answer prayer too. I am so thankful for the gift of prayer.
If you don't pray, I encourage you to give it a try. If you only pray when you need something then try to pray some when you don't need anything - just pray and praise HIM. If you pray often but not daily, give daily prayer a try. If you pray daily, think about making it longer each day. The Bible says to pray continually. I think this is to constantly have a prayer in your hearts. There is a part of this book that talks about Daniel and that he prayed 3 times a day and even when the King outlawed prayer he continued to pray. Oh I want that determination. God is Good and He answers prayer! I am a living example of answered prayer.
So as I always end. Keep Praying....or start praying. If you don't have something to pray for .... let me know and I can give you a few things to join me in prayer for. I actually have a prayer on my heart right now that has been ongoing for a couple of years. I know God will answer one day and in Him I Will Trust. Only He knows the answer and thankfully He knows the situation. I don't understand somethings but books like "The Circle Maker" give me the tools I need to help change me. God is so good to me that I wanna do all I can to please HIM.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP! My God is Awesome and He is capable of some MIND BLOWING THINGS. Let's tap into that, let's look for the awesome to happen. JOIN ME IN PRAYING FOR IT. Pray for God to SHOW OFF in some area of your life then Give Him The Glory. When He does something BIG then there is no question as to who did it. There are some things that ONLY God could do and that the things I am gonna add to my prayer list.
Love you all!
Tammy
If you have any prayer requests and want someone to join you in praying for them...let me know. I am willing to help you circle those requests in prayer!
The other thing that still lingers in my mind about the book is the fact that Prayers never Die. He mentions the prayers of grandparents for their children. I think back to my grandma and hearing her pray for me at night. Those prayers are still petitions laying at the feet of Jesus. God still honors them even today. If she ever prayed for my safety ..... He is still answering that prayer. With that in mind, I think it is changing my prayer life especially in how I pray for others particularly my daughter. Knowing that my prayers for her will never die even when I do gives me great PEACE. I am now praying daily not just for Maggie in the here and now but for Maggie's future, for her family that will one day be. I have prayed over all my family differently this week because of this book. There is also the suggestion of praying the promises in the Bible. I am gonna compile a list of God's promises that are directly for us and begin to pray them over the people that I think they are needed for.
There are still some things that I have to work out in my head so that I can circle them. I have some Big things I need to pray for. Yes there is healing that I can pray for but I have a few other things that I would love to see God answer prayer too. I am so thankful for the gift of prayer.
If you don't pray, I encourage you to give it a try. If you only pray when you need something then try to pray some when you don't need anything - just pray and praise HIM. If you pray often but not daily, give daily prayer a try. If you pray daily, think about making it longer each day. The Bible says to pray continually. I think this is to constantly have a prayer in your hearts. There is a part of this book that talks about Daniel and that he prayed 3 times a day and even when the King outlawed prayer he continued to pray. Oh I want that determination. God is Good and He answers prayer! I am a living example of answered prayer.
So as I always end. Keep Praying....or start praying. If you don't have something to pray for .... let me know and I can give you a few things to join me in prayer for. I actually have a prayer on my heart right now that has been ongoing for a couple of years. I know God will answer one day and in Him I Will Trust. Only He knows the answer and thankfully He knows the situation. I don't understand somethings but books like "The Circle Maker" give me the tools I need to help change me. God is so good to me that I wanna do all I can to please HIM.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP! My God is Awesome and He is capable of some MIND BLOWING THINGS. Let's tap into that, let's look for the awesome to happen. JOIN ME IN PRAYING FOR IT. Pray for God to SHOW OFF in some area of your life then Give Him The Glory. When He does something BIG then there is no question as to who did it. There are some things that ONLY God could do and that the things I am gonna add to my prayer list.
Love you all!
Tammy
If you have any prayer requests and want someone to join you in praying for them...let me know. I am willing to help you circle those requests in prayer!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
New Update
This is for my friends that don't do facebook. My latest chemo markers are at 14. Dr. Anderson told me Tuesday that he had not seen numbers as low as mine before and wondered if I had plateaued at 15. Well, guess what. I haven't plateaued at least not yet. Yay God. God is so good to ME! I will say chemo knocks me for a bigger loop these days but at least I have more good days than these few that are bad. As for the good days, they are the BEST.
Last Saturday I had the privilege to take my daughter and a friend to Winter Jam. I had planned to take her last year but that was when I was first diagnosed and had a procedure at Duke prior to that weekend and could not attend. Maggie went with the Acteens at church last year and had a good time but I am blessed to have been by her side this year. It was 10 christian bands performing at the RBC Center from 6pm till .... I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. Most of the bands I had never heard of before. But I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I ended up buying me a Building 429 CD which I am enjoying. Maggie invited a good friend (Sophie) and we even let a boy ride with us. (Jared - he had a ball too). We stayed after the concert so that they could get autographs and there is no telling how long we would have been if they hadn't told us that the lines would end at 11pm. Maggie's favorite band Skillet, wasn't doing autographs but that was o.k. She got plenty of others. She wore her Skillet shirt she got for Christmas and bought a Group1Crew shirt. (Yep, they have a new fan too - yep I like Group 1 Crew). Who Knew? I thank God for times like these. He is an Awesome God. We got there at about 12:45 and the doors weren't opening until 5pm but God blessed us with beautiful weather and we waited outside sitting in the grass just chilling. I am always a little leery of the waiting part especially an outside waiting event due to chemo effects but I was fine and we had a Great time. I am so glad we met up with Jenna and Jessica and they made the wait go by faster.
Well that's it for now. Keep praying and Keep Looking UP!
Tammy
Last Saturday I had the privilege to take my daughter and a friend to Winter Jam. I had planned to take her last year but that was when I was first diagnosed and had a procedure at Duke prior to that weekend and could not attend. Maggie went with the Acteens at church last year and had a good time but I am blessed to have been by her side this year. It was 10 christian bands performing at the RBC Center from 6pm till .... I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. Most of the bands I had never heard of before. But I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I ended up buying me a Building 429 CD which I am enjoying. Maggie invited a good friend (Sophie) and we even let a boy ride with us. (Jared - he had a ball too). We stayed after the concert so that they could get autographs and there is no telling how long we would have been if they hadn't told us that the lines would end at 11pm. Maggie's favorite band Skillet, wasn't doing autographs but that was o.k. She got plenty of others. She wore her Skillet shirt she got for Christmas and bought a Group1Crew shirt. (Yep, they have a new fan too - yep I like Group 1 Crew). Who Knew? I thank God for times like these. He is an Awesome God. We got there at about 12:45 and the doors weren't opening until 5pm but God blessed us with beautiful weather and we waited outside sitting in the grass just chilling. I am always a little leery of the waiting part especially an outside waiting event due to chemo effects but I was fine and we had a Great time. I am so glad we met up with Jenna and Jessica and they made the wait go by faster.
Well that's it for now. Keep praying and Keep Looking UP!
Tammy
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Just thinking
Good Morning!
I once again have alot on my mind. I started a read thru of the Bible on Jan. 1st and love digging into His word. I started one last year but got sidelined by all that was going on in my life. I actually had started some scripture memorization too again last year and that was side lined too. BUT this is a new year and I am still here so I am climbing back into his word on a daily basis. Even on my chemo days I am gonna climb in and know that God will give me what it takes to comprehend His Word. I love having a daily Bible reading. I am in a Bible study and that gives me something to do in His word almost daily but we have had a break for Christmas and I have a tendency to not do anything during these breaks. So I have a plan and a schedule to check off as I read. (I love the check offs)
Enough of that. For the past couple of days I have had one song on my mind alot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jazyUn4LMgA
I included the link above if you want to hear it. It goes...
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Saviors always there for me.
My God he was, My God He Is
My God He's always gonna be.
(I didn't know this song was in some Hymnals with the exception of that last part - Wow)
I guess this song gives me Peace in a way I can't explain. I don't know why God does what He does. I am not skilled to understand but I do know My Savior is there for me what ever God's will and plan is for me. Over the past couple of days I have been in prayer for Hillarie Denning. I did not personally know her and found out about her through facebook but I joined with over 10000 others in praying for her. I prayed for her healing and I prayed for God's will. God received Hillarie yesterday at 4pm into His kingdom. I so don't understand the workings of my God but I know her life touch over 10000 people that were following and praying for her via facebook. That probably doesn't even count the number of folks that do not do computers and the internet. My God is an Awesome God and His light has been shining through this situation. I will still be praying for the family in the days to come. I sometimes don't know why I am still here and I am deeply humbled by the fact that I am still here. I know He doesn't love me more than He loved Hillarie, or Mrs Peggy, or Jason. I just have to accept that He is not finished with me yet for some reason. I truly thank Him for all that He is to me. I wish everyone could know God and trust in Him completely. Well the tears are rolling let me move on.
As an update, I have been feeling pretty good lately. My appetite is o.k., energy levels are o.k. and overall I am doing Great! I will have chemo again next Tuesday. Thanks for your continued prayers. God is Good!
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
Tammy
I once again have alot on my mind. I started a read thru of the Bible on Jan. 1st and love digging into His word. I started one last year but got sidelined by all that was going on in my life. I actually had started some scripture memorization too again last year and that was side lined too. BUT this is a new year and I am still here so I am climbing back into his word on a daily basis. Even on my chemo days I am gonna climb in and know that God will give me what it takes to comprehend His Word. I love having a daily Bible reading. I am in a Bible study and that gives me something to do in His word almost daily but we have had a break for Christmas and I have a tendency to not do anything during these breaks. So I have a plan and a schedule to check off as I read. (I love the check offs)
Enough of that. For the past couple of days I have had one song on my mind alot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jazyUn4LMgA
I included the link above if you want to hear it. It goes...
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior
That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Saviors always there for me.
My God he was, My God He Is
My God He's always gonna be.
(I didn't know this song was in some Hymnals with the exception of that last part - Wow)
I guess this song gives me Peace in a way I can't explain. I don't know why God does what He does. I am not skilled to understand but I do know My Savior is there for me what ever God's will and plan is for me. Over the past couple of days I have been in prayer for Hillarie Denning. I did not personally know her and found out about her through facebook but I joined with over 10000 others in praying for her. I prayed for her healing and I prayed for God's will. God received Hillarie yesterday at 4pm into His kingdom. I so don't understand the workings of my God but I know her life touch over 10000 people that were following and praying for her via facebook. That probably doesn't even count the number of folks that do not do computers and the internet. My God is an Awesome God and His light has been shining through this situation. I will still be praying for the family in the days to come. I sometimes don't know why I am still here and I am deeply humbled by the fact that I am still here. I know He doesn't love me more than He loved Hillarie, or Mrs Peggy, or Jason. I just have to accept that He is not finished with me yet for some reason. I truly thank Him for all that He is to me. I wish everyone could know God and trust in Him completely. Well the tears are rolling let me move on.
As an update, I have been feeling pretty good lately. My appetite is o.k., energy levels are o.k. and overall I am doing Great! I will have chemo again next Tuesday. Thanks for your continued prayers. God is Good!
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
Tammy
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year and I am still HERE!
I am a little (well alot) moved by the holidays this year. I think that it is the fact that I am still here and I had the opportunity to enjoy them yet again. I love Christmas and this Christmas was no exception. I hated to take the decorations down on Friday but I knew cold weather was coming and I needed to get them down outside. So since I was on a roll the inside ones came down too. I really love our Christmas tree and already miss it. Maybe I will get me a little one to stick in a room somewhere that I can light up when I want to. (Why Not? we should keep Christmas in our hearts year round - right)
Another perk to this holiday was that I spent the whole time home with Maggie. I have worked or been on call for YEARS and this year that was all gone. We even headed to Myrtle Beach on Wednesday and stayed till Friday. I could have never done that before. We went to Wonderworks, the beach, our to eat, stayed at Broadway at the Beach and had a good time. Maggie was able to swim in the indoor pool both evenings. If you go to Myrtle Beach and don't care if you stay on the beach the Hampton Inn at the Broadway shopping area is a good hotel. This was our 3rd or 4th time there and I have no complaints. You can walk right out the hotel to Margaritaville which is what we did. As a matter of fact, we stayed there the summer I was pregnant with Maggie and took my two nieces with us. That was in July of 1999 and Maggie had just started moving in my belly. I remember my nieces trying to feel her move. Good Memories!!!!
The best part of the whole season was time spent with family. Seeing my cousins, aunts, uncles, brothers, brother in laws and sister in laws was truly great. I love them and they love me and I feel that love even though we don't see each other that much some times.
Well, with all that said, I can't wait to see what this year will bring. I started a read thru of the Bible today and am totally excited to start. Learning more about God is a Good Thing. He has done so much for me that I wanna know Him more.
Well that's enough for now. I love you all. Thanks for all your prayers in 2011. Keep them coming in 2012. God's not finished with me yet. : )
Please remember my mom's pastor Jimmy Earp in your prayers and also Hillary Denning (a middle school teacher that had a stroke on Christmas eve - she is 32) I don't know Hillary personally but she needs our prayers and God place her on my heart so I can't get her out of my head. I know I have requested prayer for Jason Evans in the past and lots of you probably prayed for him. As you know, he went to see Jesus but his family could still use your prayers I am sure. They are still on my mind as well. In the Toby Mac book I read there was the story of a man that said he learned that when God placed someone on his heart to be prayed for that he would pray for them until God let him know that it was o.k. to quit praying. Once he felt the all clear he didn't always see the answer right away but he knew he had done what God had required of him. So this year I am gonna do the same. If God places someone or something on my heart to pray for then I am gonna continue to do so until He lets me know that it is o.k. to quit praying.
Now I am done.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
Tammy
Another perk to this holiday was that I spent the whole time home with Maggie. I have worked or been on call for YEARS and this year that was all gone. We even headed to Myrtle Beach on Wednesday and stayed till Friday. I could have never done that before. We went to Wonderworks, the beach, our to eat, stayed at Broadway at the Beach and had a good time. Maggie was able to swim in the indoor pool both evenings. If you go to Myrtle Beach and don't care if you stay on the beach the Hampton Inn at the Broadway shopping area is a good hotel. This was our 3rd or 4th time there and I have no complaints. You can walk right out the hotel to Margaritaville which is what we did. As a matter of fact, we stayed there the summer I was pregnant with Maggie and took my two nieces with us. That was in July of 1999 and Maggie had just started moving in my belly. I remember my nieces trying to feel her move. Good Memories!!!!
The best part of the whole season was time spent with family. Seeing my cousins, aunts, uncles, brothers, brother in laws and sister in laws was truly great. I love them and they love me and I feel that love even though we don't see each other that much some times.
Well, with all that said, I can't wait to see what this year will bring. I started a read thru of the Bible today and am totally excited to start. Learning more about God is a Good Thing. He has done so much for me that I wanna know Him more.
Well that's enough for now. I love you all. Thanks for all your prayers in 2011. Keep them coming in 2012. God's not finished with me yet. : )
Please remember my mom's pastor Jimmy Earp in your prayers and also Hillary Denning (a middle school teacher that had a stroke on Christmas eve - she is 32) I don't know Hillary personally but she needs our prayers and God place her on my heart so I can't get her out of my head. I know I have requested prayer for Jason Evans in the past and lots of you probably prayed for him. As you know, he went to see Jesus but his family could still use your prayers I am sure. They are still on my mind as well. In the Toby Mac book I read there was the story of a man that said he learned that when God placed someone on his heart to be prayed for that he would pray for them until God let him know that it was o.k. to quit praying. Once he felt the all clear he didn't always see the answer right away but he knew he had done what God had required of him. So this year I am gonna do the same. If God places someone or something on my heart to pray for then I am gonna continue to do so until He lets me know that it is o.k. to quit praying.
Now I am done.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
Tammy
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