Good Afternoon,
I was thinking this morning that I had not written on here in a while so here you go. Here's what is on my mind (scary huh)
I went to the Casting Crowns concert Friday night and really enjoyed it. There were other artists there including Matthew West whom I like also but I have to say that out of all christian artists/groups two of Casting Crowns songs have directly impacted my life in a way that no other song has. The two songs are The Voice of Truth and Praise You in This Storm.
I have to tell you that Voice of Truth is my absolute favorite and it goes back a couple of years ago as to why. My daughter Maggie learned this song at our church's daycare. I remember her singing it and then getting a CD with that song on it. So what is so special about this song? Why it's the words... "Oh what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in onto the crashing waves.... Well, they spoke so clearly to me. See I can truly remember telling someone that I felt that song was speaking to me that at some point in my future that God was going to call me out of the boat and was gonna have to get out of it. The 2nd verse says "Oh what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant with just a sling and a stone, surrounded by the sounds of a thousand warriors shaking in their armor wishing they had had the strength to stand." I knew in my heart that that would happen one day too. The chorus "and the waves/giant calling out my name and they laugh at me..reminding me of all the times I tried before and failed and the waves/giant keeps on telling me time and time again, girl you'll never win, you'll never win." See I just knew that it would happen and guess what it has. Yes, the giant is the Cancer and even the waves could be considered that too. This diagnosis has changed me. Yes, I had to get out of the boat, I have to stand and face the giant and yes at times it laughs at me but I am not listening to any of what it has to say See the Voice of Truth tells me a different story, the Voice of Truth says do not be afraid and the Voice of Truth says this is for my glory. Out of all the voices calling out to me I will chose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth.
About 2 years ago in one of the mission magazines that we get monthly at church there was a picture of some missionaries that hike on the Appalachian trail in the summer and share Christ with people on the trail There was a picture of one of them (a lady) that was sitting with her legs dangling off the side of a mountain. I kept that picture and had it in my office at work until all of my stuff was packed up and brought home. I still have that magazine somewhere. That picture spoke to me because I am afraid of heights and I could look at that picture and know that at some point God was gonna call me to step out of the boat, face a giant or even dangle my feet off of an edge. Did I think that God was gonna make me do any of the above - No but I knew that He was gonna take me out of my comfort zone and make me depend on Him. Well, I am there now. With my cancer all I have is dependence on Him. Complete dependence on Him. I would not be here today if it was not for His grace, love and mercy. He hasn't chosen at this point to reveal a complete healing to me yet but I do strongly know that He has chosen to lengthen my days and that is how I have prayed. I have truly prayed for complete healing, for lengthening of days but honestly all my prayers end with but not my will but thy will be done. See He knows what is best for my life, what is best for my family and what is best for all of us. We try to tamper with His judgement and His work and even change it or tune Him out but we can't disrupt His plan. I truly think that sometimes people think they can change His mind or do things for Him but His plan was in action before the creation of the world. At the concert on Friday night, we were told that our life we are living is our present but God's history. It was mentioned again in Sunday School this morning. I am not afraid because I trust the Voice of Truth. It was all I could do this morning when I sang the Voice of Truth with the choir to not say "to stand before a Lion" I had chills prior to singing the song and was able to pull it together enough to sing it. See God has used that song and its message in my life for years now. Probably at least 4 or 5 years at least. Yes, it should have long since been replaced by a new favorite song but it never has. It is my song and will always be I suspect. If you wanna hear it, here you go.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwsvqVmFV6Y
that's all for now, although I could go on for days on this topic.
chemoing and watching my numbers and trusting God.
Please keep praying and keep looking up!
Please continue to pray for Charles Humphries! He is the 16 year old that I have requested prayer for in the past. He has finished some of his chemo treatments and will now be having scans done in preparation for lung surgery to remove the cancer they found in his lungs. There is also a very active group raising money to get an artificial leg for Charles that he can use for sports activities. I will post some of that info on here this week.
Love you all,
Tammy
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