Don't know why but today I feel the weakest I have the whole time. No nausea, no pain, just simply no energy. I am drinking, I am eating, I am sleeping but just still feel sleepier. Guess I just keep giving way and sleep.
Don't have alot to say other than I have been talking to God about alot lately. Waiting on the billboard answer but trusting he will reveal all by and by. The uncertainty is not fun. But I still trust God is in control. I just wish I could jump out of my chair, hop in my car and go where ever I want to. Go to work in the mornings, come home cook supper, clean up, chill and sleep. Life has changed for ever perhaps.
So today I am sending out a prayer request. Pray for acceptance of my ?new normal. Maybe its not permanent, maybe its temporary. We shall see
Leaning on the everlasting arms. (I am)
]
Keep Praying
and Keep Looking UP
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A word in time! - Just in Time
I am up due to nausea which is better thanks to prayers. Thanks facebook friends. I was amazed at the number of people that were up and immediately started praying. I am taking 2 different nausea meds tonight. Feeling some better but just not sleepy.
The song I will Praise you in the Storm is echoing in my ears right now. My God is good.
Can I make a book suggestion? Just a devotional book. I have Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Here is my devotion for today.
Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breath of your neediness. Your life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to me for nurture. Let me fill you up with My Presence: I in you, and you in Me.
My Power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence.
Jn 17:20 - 23 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me
Isa 40:29 - 31 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Now you tell me.....was that not timely. At least for me it was.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
The song I will Praise you in the Storm is echoing in my ears right now. My God is good.
Can I make a book suggestion? Just a devotional book. I have Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Here is my devotion for today.
Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breath of your neediness. Your life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to me for nurture. Let me fill you up with My Presence: I in you, and you in Me.
My Power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence.
Jn 17:20 - 23 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me
Isa 40:29 - 31 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Now you tell me.....was that not timely. At least for me it was.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Today is the Day
Today is the day you have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Today is the day you have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
I won't worry about tomorrow, I'll trust in what you say.
Today is the day! (Lincoln Brewster) - yes a song
Good morning....today is chemo day! YAY ME! (NOT) Actually the process itself is not bad. I have port so starting the IV is very easy. Here's my day in case you are wondering. Might as well educate on my blog .....huh?
I will get there at 8:30
Access to my port started
blood work done an IV started
Once blood work comes back then the meds get mix and they decide the dosage and what I am to get today. I should get all 4 once again. I actually get 3 there and then bring one home. I sit in a chair all day. I can read. Watch tv, talk, do puzzles, sleep or whatever. I usually just chill. I am not much of a tv person. I can't focus good enough to read. I talk to whomever is with me mostly or really I just chill. Last week I got sick with the last med but today they have promised to give me meds prior to starting that one this time to stop it from being so bad. Before I leave I will get my 4th and final med and it will come home with me in a pump for 46 hours to wear. That's it for the day. Once I get home, I will chill some more and then rest. My next couple of days will not be the best. I will be tired, sleepy, groggy and just go thru the motions. So there that's chemo in a nut shell.
I will let everyone know that probably in the future, I will begin to wear masks in public. Each treatment knocks my system down a little bit more and my resistance to infection and disease is dropping so I don't need any help getting any germs. So don't be offended if I don't hug, shake hands or if you can't see my smile. It's time to start protecting Tammy.
I had a couple of good conversations yesterday with very close friends. All I get is reassurance that I know in my heart .....that God is in control! He is in control! Of every day of my life. So onward I go! God is good
Leaning on His promises....not to harm me but to provide for me ....to give me a future that will glorify HIM. Glorify Him I Shall.
Thanks for continuing to read this blog. There are so many reading to keep in touch with my life because I definitely couldn't talk with all of you. Love You All
Keep Praying and Keep looking UP!
Tammy
Today is the day you have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
I won't worry about tomorrow, I'll trust in what you say.
Today is the day! (Lincoln Brewster) - yes a song
Good morning....today is chemo day! YAY ME! (NOT) Actually the process itself is not bad. I have port so starting the IV is very easy. Here's my day in case you are wondering. Might as well educate on my blog .....huh?
I will get there at 8:30
Access to my port started
blood work done an IV started
Once blood work comes back then the meds get mix and they decide the dosage and what I am to get today. I should get all 4 once again. I actually get 3 there and then bring one home. I sit in a chair all day. I can read. Watch tv, talk, do puzzles, sleep or whatever. I usually just chill. I am not much of a tv person. I can't focus good enough to read. I talk to whomever is with me mostly or really I just chill. Last week I got sick with the last med but today they have promised to give me meds prior to starting that one this time to stop it from being so bad. Before I leave I will get my 4th and final med and it will come home with me in a pump for 46 hours to wear. That's it for the day. Once I get home, I will chill some more and then rest. My next couple of days will not be the best. I will be tired, sleepy, groggy and just go thru the motions. So there that's chemo in a nut shell.
I will let everyone know that probably in the future, I will begin to wear masks in public. Each treatment knocks my system down a little bit more and my resistance to infection and disease is dropping so I don't need any help getting any germs. So don't be offended if I don't hug, shake hands or if you can't see my smile. It's time to start protecting Tammy.
I had a couple of good conversations yesterday with very close friends. All I get is reassurance that I know in my heart .....that God is in control! He is in control! Of every day of my life. So onward I go! God is good
Leaning on His promises....not to harm me but to provide for me ....to give me a future that will glorify HIM. Glorify Him I Shall.
Thanks for continuing to read this blog. There are so many reading to keep in touch with my life because I definitely couldn't talk with all of you. Love You All
Keep Praying and Keep looking UP!
Tammy
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter - The gift of Life
In Christ Alone
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
Today is the reminder of the eternal life that we are all offered. Jesus died for our sins and if we accept, believe and confess then we are saved. I have done all the above. That is what gives me great Peace. My life will never end. Yes the physical one may but the spiritual one will continue on. God is Great. His love endures forever and our lives can too. Put your trust in HIM and have eternal life.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
Today is the reminder of the eternal life that we are all offered. Jesus died for our sins and if we accept, believe and confess then we are saved. I have done all the above. That is what gives me great Peace. My life will never end. Yes the physical one may but the spiritual one will continue on. God is Great. His love endures forever and our lives can too. Put your trust in HIM and have eternal life.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
Friday, April 22, 2011
A good night
I have not had very many solid nights of sleep in a long time. It's o.k. because I still feel rested for the most part. Last night I actually slept in the bed and not the recliner. I laid down probably about 10pm and slept till 4am. I woke up then and immediately thought about Good Friday. My thoughts turn to praise and I praise and thanked the Father, Son and Holy Spirit for their presence, their sacrifice and the gifts given to me. Wow. I am not worthy. Then my mind went to prayer. It is always for my family first. I drifted back to sleep during that time and would wake up again. I prayed for friends....drifted to sleep, I prayed for churches and pastors - including my own and others that are dear to me and i drifted off. I know I covered almost everyone and everything between the hours of 4am and 6:30 am. Yes. that is when I got up. What a peaceful, wonderful time. Prayer, sleep, rest, and each time I woke I picked up praying right where I left off. Thank you God. I was so rested when I woke. I have never had that happen before and I would love to have it happen again. It was wonderful so I thought I would share. I have often ask God to speak to me in my sleep and if you have read earlier posts you know He gave me the dream. But how wonderful the gift of prayer in the midst of sleep but the ability to keep in step with everything as it goes along. THANK YOU GOD........ISN'T HE AWESOME, ISN'T WONDERFUL, MARVELOUS, COUNSELOR, PRINCE OF PEACE, KING OF KING, SAVIOR, REDEEMER, WOW. THE GOD HEAD THREE IN ONE!
One other thing....I had a thought about my dream tonight because as you know the Lion I am facing I determined is GOD. Yes the cancer is the dark lion I pictured as a black dog as big as the lion in my dream. And maybe I just needed a fresh reminder. But the lion I am to face is GOD.....FACE TO FACE.....Looking at Him, because you know.....He's looking at the Cancer. The Fight is HIS.....not mine. He has it settled. My job is to look at Jesus, to look at God, to let the spirit live in me with the chemo drugs, the cancer. to feel HIS spirit which gives me strength. Sometimes I look at the process, sometime I look at the what ifs......Yes the What ifs....but I needed the reminder .....LOOK AT ME. NOW THAT'S GOD. I even declare I heard a bird calling outside the window the other day and it was saying.... 'Tammy....can you hear me? I am HERE" over and other. That was God too. No drugs on board at that time. I promise.
Love you all
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP or FACE TO FACE WITH GOD and let him look at your problems. You don't need to see where they are leading you or taking you. God will get you there without ever a need to glance in that direction
Tammy
One other thing....I had a thought about my dream tonight because as you know the Lion I am facing I determined is GOD. Yes the cancer is the dark lion I pictured as a black dog as big as the lion in my dream. And maybe I just needed a fresh reminder. But the lion I am to face is GOD.....FACE TO FACE.....Looking at Him, because you know.....He's looking at the Cancer. The Fight is HIS.....not mine. He has it settled. My job is to look at Jesus, to look at God, to let the spirit live in me with the chemo drugs, the cancer. to feel HIS spirit which gives me strength. Sometimes I look at the process, sometime I look at the what ifs......Yes the What ifs....but I needed the reminder .....LOOK AT ME. NOW THAT'S GOD. I even declare I heard a bird calling outside the window the other day and it was saying.... 'Tammy....can you hear me? I am HERE" over and other. That was God too. No drugs on board at that time. I promise.
Love you all
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP or FACE TO FACE WITH GOD and let him look at your problems. You don't need to see where they are leading you or taking you. God will get you there without ever a need to glance in that direction
Tammy
Thursday, April 21, 2011
A new day
Today has been a good day! YAY GOD! Can I say I got to feeling very bad and very down yesterday so I sent a prayer request out on Facebook. Within 30 minutes of posting that I felt better. I know it was the prayers going up. God listened. He answered. And that is the Power of prayer. God is Good and He listens to His people. Yes I was praying but at that point some of my prayer was words and not what God was gonna answer, even as I requested it I knew they were just words, He has a plan, He is in control and whatever happens, whenever it happens. So let me hush that prayer. Turn to prayer warriors that will pray the right prayer and He answered. He knows my heart and He saw thru the words and knew what I needed. The prayers the notes of support lifted my spirits immediately. I know alot of people don't like Facebook but I find it an excellent source of connecting with people and I have always thought it was the way to let my light shine. And Let It Shine I will! Just like this Blog......This little light of mine....I am letting it shine and sometimes God turns up the light and my heart starts to warm and a smile comes on my face....just like now. God is so Good. My scripture yesterday.....Isaiah 40:31....Those that wait on the Lord will renew their strength. One of my faves. They will run and not get weary for they put their trust in HIM.
Love YOU GOD! You Rock!
Love you readers....
Keep Praying and Keep Looking up!
Tammy
Love YOU GOD! You Rock!
Love you readers....
Keep Praying and Keep Looking up!
Tammy
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
What Can I Say?
Truly I sit here tonight thinking what can I say? I have listened to the the Contemporary Christian Channel all afternoon. Right now the song is
God is in control - Beautiful song but afraid I don't know all the word to that one
Now comes Mandisa: Stronger
"When the waves are taking you under
hold on a little longer
he knows that this will only make you stronger
It not gonna last forever
'things can only get better
this will only make you stronger
Now is Lincoln Brewster Today is the Day! - I am rocking.
Its been another beautiful day! I have spent it at my moms and she has been an excellent nurse. We have had a couple of bumps in the road but we have handled them. Thank God for my mom. She is awesome. I will always say that God gave her especially to me cause It was His Plan. I know it.....no other mom would have done. I have exactly the right mom for me. She loves me, she prays with me, and prays for me, I know at times her heart is breaking also but she is a trooper. That's a God thing too. She loves HIM, she trusts Him and she believes in Him with all her heart. Thank you God for my Mom! For her peaceful, calm spirit. For her gentle reliance on you. For her Faith and for putting her in my life. You are a Perfect God and you gave me the Perfect MOM. Love you for that!
Tammy
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
God is in control - Beautiful song but afraid I don't know all the word to that one
Now comes Mandisa: Stronger
"When the waves are taking you under
hold on a little longer
he knows that this will only make you stronger
It not gonna last forever
'things can only get better
this will only make you stronger
Now is Lincoln Brewster Today is the Day! - I am rocking.
Its been another beautiful day! I have spent it at my moms and she has been an excellent nurse. We have had a couple of bumps in the road but we have handled them. Thank God for my mom. She is awesome. I will always say that God gave her especially to me cause It was His Plan. I know it.....no other mom would have done. I have exactly the right mom for me. She loves me, she prays with me, and prays for me, I know at times her heart is breaking also but she is a trooper. That's a God thing too. She loves HIM, she trusts Him and she believes in Him with all her heart. Thank you God for my Mom! For her peaceful, calm spirit. For her gentle reliance on you. For her Faith and for putting her in my life. You are a Perfect God and you gave me the Perfect MOM. Love you for that!
Tammy
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
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