Accountability Sisters

Hold...ON....Just A Sec.....Got one more thing to do before I type another word........Well I am on hold for the second time now.  ok....that is done...Now I have to wait for the return call.  After all the events of the past weekend, it is now time to schedule the portacath so Chemo can start (Yay ME).  I have daily texts and calls from My mom and My Sisters in Christ wanting me to get this done.  So now that call has been placed and we will see when they can fit me in.  That is just for you Kristy and Misty and of course you MOM, if you are reading. 
I thank God for my friends, family and coworkers.  I started a 30 period of thanks back in September to try to think of one thing I was thankful for each and every day.  I didn't want it to be a thank you for one thing each day but I did want it to be a thank you for whatever came to mind on any given day.  Yes, somedays it was family, somedays it was friends, and somedays it was very random as to what I would type.  Looking back at that now I can say that I am Still Thankful.  God has done so much in my life that I can't imagine not being thankful in all things but maybe sometimes I am not as thankful as I should be. 
God gave the ultimate sacrifice of His Son so many years ago.  I can't even imagine the pain that took.  He not only saw him to the cross, he saw HIS perfect son take on the sin of the World and then had to look away.  I know many times with my own child I have thought of this sacrifice and I would have to say if it can down to my life or hers....take mine anyday Dear Jesus.  There have been times that her little body was sick and I would pray ....give it to me Dear Jesus so she doesn't have to hurt.  Oh Dear God, I know in some ways you had to feel the same.  You created the Heavens and Earth.  You know the course of our lives and you had to know how this would happen.  My Father in Heaven .....you did it for me.  You did it for all of us.  I can't even comtemplate that kind of love.  I know that in the times I have ahead of me, the pain I will feel, the hurt I may feel and the total loss of control will only lead me to understand you more, not completely but more.  God I am looking full in your wonderful face alot now.  When the way gets tough, or I feel at a loss for what to say or how to feel.  I am looking to you.  I know you want let me down.  Thank you God for your provisions,  (More Later)
Tammy