Good Morning, Yes I am a morning person, usually not this early but I have had a habit for a long time of waking in the middle of the night staying awake for a while then going back to sleep. I sometimes read, sometimes write, sometimes pray. Whatever I feel led to do in the still of the night - that's what I do. So Here I am writing.
I have received lots of emails, facebook posts, facebook messages, phone calls and even text messages over the past couple of days. The support is Awesome! I do literally feel God's love at every turn and it is a wonderful source of strength.
I know that by now most of the people reading this have read about my dream. To say it is the first such dream is the truth. God has spoke to me before thru dreams and thru sudden words that pop in to my head that had to have come from him. I can tell you that last week I also had one of those word days. I have spent alot of time in prayer, time in His word and time just thinking. During one day last week, when tons of thing were running thru my head I remember clearly thinking the words "baby steps" When those words hit me, I literally thought to myself....where did that come from. Then I realized that they came from God. God is telling me that I may not know what tomorrow brings, I may not know where my Next step will lead me but this fight isn't about the finish line yet. It is about the journey and spending it with Him. I know that I mentioned this to my Mom when it occurred. I did feel reassurance from it and now other things have confirmed it as a God thing. So that is what I am doing taking Baby steps. Yes I wanna run - yes and sometimes in the other direction. I had such a short attack like that yesterday. But in that moment I found a quiet place, said a prayer and God met me there and gave me peace. (yes He will provide what we need when we need it).
- there is one other thing I need to share this morning. On Wednesday night prior to church I texted a friend of mine to ask if we could pull all the ladies at church together to pray together. I suggested that we do it prior to, during or after church. She texted me back and said - yes we could. Upon arrival, it was decided that it would occur at the end of the church service. So I went with my other daughters (Acteens) to our room and we had a prayer request/praise session. I told them my story and they proceed to lavish love on me. yes, I got roses and a huge Get Well card that I intend to keep with me thru out this fight. I love these girls and their heart for God. My friend, Kristy whom I had sent the text too came and got us all prior to the end of service. We all went up front. When it was time for the prayer - Kristy was asked to pray. For those of you that do not know Kristy, I will tell you that she is an awesome Woman of God. She love God, she loves His word and she plants it in her heart on a daily basis. She has been the single most influential person on me when it comes to reading the Bible from cover to cover and to memorizing scripture. (I love you Kristy). I knew when Kristy prayed this was not how she wanted it to happen. Yes, she arranged it but it was for someone else to pray. (Sorry) but she got the call on to voice the prayer and as I told her yesterday. That was a God thing too. Because right along with my word from God about Baby steps. Kristy quoted scripture in her prayers then prayer that God would provide me manna each day for my survival. Just like in the wilderness where God give His people what they needed on a daily basis, she ask him to give me what I needed on a daily basis. That is exactly what I needed to hear. That is the prayer I needed prayed. Because I know this journey will be filled with baby steps, I know that I will also need manna each day that is fresh and new and that God will provide that. Cause that is What He Does. He loves His Children and He provides for their needs. And yesterday, before I went to the oncologists' office, I had the thought to run - in the other direction. I vocalized the "Why me Lord?, the "take this cup from me Lord" and the "I just plain don't wanna do this God!" And do you wanna know what happen? I went right back to my office, Bent my head in prayer and said a prayer to the one who could hear. And He gave me peace, He gave me strength, He gave me composure. Yes I walked into the doctor's office and My heart rate was fine, my blood pressure was fine. The tears were not there and I listened to the doctor and I left know that My God is in Control. WHAT AN AWESOME GOD! So Yes, He provided my my manna for yesterday. Can't wait to see my manna for today! I know it will be there - God doesn't forget and He hasn't forgotten me.
love you too!
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