I have done a lot of googling once again. Seems I am hung up on all the emotions of my daughter getting older and finishing elementary school. With my diagnosis hanging over my head I have to wonder how may other milestones I will get to see. (If you are reading please stop crying> you're making me cry ; ) I know we are not guaranteed anything in life and I could just as easily be taken in a car crash today but there is something more about a real possibility that is nagging at me. I have prayed, I have talked and I have cried this out with Jesus over the past couple of days. He has assured me that He has Maggie. Maggie is only on loan to me. She's not mine, never has been she is His!!!! He gave her to me to raise, to love, to teach and to hold as long as I am needed. If I am taken from her life early it is because it is o.k........He's got it under control. My job will have been finished. She will always have my love, my lessons, my laugh, and my personality to that have affected her to become the child - adult she will become. My job is to love her while I have her. To make the most of everyday with her. To let her know she is loved every single day and to make her aware of how special she is to me. If you have children, I encourage you to do the same. You may not have cancer but you do not have a guarantee of how much time you have with your child. Make the most of every minute with your gift from God!
Love you God and I don't know why you love me so much that you would take the time to work all this stuff out in my head with me. I know I tire you sometimes, I know I am just like the israelites in the wilderness. Thank you for your patience, thank you for your love, thank you for your strength, thank your for your word. thank you for all you do for me. I AM NOT WORTHY!!!!! BUT THANK YOU! cause you are there, you hold my hand, you fill my soul, you dry my tears, you hear my cries, and you always provide support.....not always answers but you support me in my questions and tears. Love you God!!!!!! and Oh How I Know You Love Me!!!!
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up
Love you All,
Tammy
Tammy,
ReplyDeleteI cannot begin to tell you what an inspiration you are! The people who know you and who's lives you have touched are the truly blessed ones. And yes, your Maggie will be okay because He does, indeed, have everything under control. We know that whatever circumstances surround us, it is all part of His master plan. Stay strong in your faith and your love of God and I will keep on praying!