Don't know why but today I feel the weakest I have the whole time. No nausea, no pain, just simply no energy. I am drinking, I am eating, I am sleeping but just still feel sleepier. Guess I just keep giving way and sleep.
Don't have alot to say other than I have been talking to God about alot lately. Waiting on the billboard answer but trusting he will reveal all by and by. The uncertainty is not fun. But I still trust God is in control. I just wish I could jump out of my chair, hop in my car and go where ever I want to. Go to work in the mornings, come home cook supper, clean up, chill and sleep. Life has changed for ever perhaps.
So today I am sending out a prayer request. Pray for acceptance of my ?new normal. Maybe its not permanent, maybe its temporary. We shall see
Leaning on the everlasting arms. (I am)
]
Keep Praying
and Keep Looking UP
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A word in time! - Just in Time
I am up due to nausea which is better thanks to prayers. Thanks facebook friends. I was amazed at the number of people that were up and immediately started praying. I am taking 2 different nausea meds tonight. Feeling some better but just not sleepy.
The song I will Praise you in the Storm is echoing in my ears right now. My God is good.
Can I make a book suggestion? Just a devotional book. I have Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Here is my devotion for today.
Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breath of your neediness. Your life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to me for nurture. Let me fill you up with My Presence: I in you, and you in Me.
My Power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence.
Jn 17:20 - 23 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me
Isa 40:29 - 31 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Now you tell me.....was that not timely. At least for me it was.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
The song I will Praise you in the Storm is echoing in my ears right now. My God is good.
Can I make a book suggestion? Just a devotional book. I have Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Here is my devotion for today.
Come to Me with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings. I know the depth and breath of your neediness. Your life-path has been difficult, draining you of strength. Come to me for nurture. Let me fill you up with My Presence: I in you, and you in Me.
My Power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me. Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to My Presence.
Jn 17:20 - 23 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me
Isa 40:29 - 31 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Now you tell me.....was that not timely. At least for me it was.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Today is the Day
Today is the day you have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Today is the day you have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
I won't worry about tomorrow, I'll trust in what you say.
Today is the day! (Lincoln Brewster) - yes a song
Good morning....today is chemo day! YAY ME! (NOT) Actually the process itself is not bad. I have port so starting the IV is very easy. Here's my day in case you are wondering. Might as well educate on my blog .....huh?
I will get there at 8:30
Access to my port started
blood work done an IV started
Once blood work comes back then the meds get mix and they decide the dosage and what I am to get today. I should get all 4 once again. I actually get 3 there and then bring one home. I sit in a chair all day. I can read. Watch tv, talk, do puzzles, sleep or whatever. I usually just chill. I am not much of a tv person. I can't focus good enough to read. I talk to whomever is with me mostly or really I just chill. Last week I got sick with the last med but today they have promised to give me meds prior to starting that one this time to stop it from being so bad. Before I leave I will get my 4th and final med and it will come home with me in a pump for 46 hours to wear. That's it for the day. Once I get home, I will chill some more and then rest. My next couple of days will not be the best. I will be tired, sleepy, groggy and just go thru the motions. So there that's chemo in a nut shell.
I will let everyone know that probably in the future, I will begin to wear masks in public. Each treatment knocks my system down a little bit more and my resistance to infection and disease is dropping so I don't need any help getting any germs. So don't be offended if I don't hug, shake hands or if you can't see my smile. It's time to start protecting Tammy.
I had a couple of good conversations yesterday with very close friends. All I get is reassurance that I know in my heart .....that God is in control! He is in control! Of every day of my life. So onward I go! God is good
Leaning on His promises....not to harm me but to provide for me ....to give me a future that will glorify HIM. Glorify Him I Shall.
Thanks for continuing to read this blog. There are so many reading to keep in touch with my life because I definitely couldn't talk with all of you. Love You All
Keep Praying and Keep looking UP!
Tammy
Today is the day you have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
I won't worry about tomorrow, I'll trust in what you say.
Today is the day! (Lincoln Brewster) - yes a song
Good morning....today is chemo day! YAY ME! (NOT) Actually the process itself is not bad. I have port so starting the IV is very easy. Here's my day in case you are wondering. Might as well educate on my blog .....huh?
I will get there at 8:30
Access to my port started
blood work done an IV started
Once blood work comes back then the meds get mix and they decide the dosage and what I am to get today. I should get all 4 once again. I actually get 3 there and then bring one home. I sit in a chair all day. I can read. Watch tv, talk, do puzzles, sleep or whatever. I usually just chill. I am not much of a tv person. I can't focus good enough to read. I talk to whomever is with me mostly or really I just chill. Last week I got sick with the last med but today they have promised to give me meds prior to starting that one this time to stop it from being so bad. Before I leave I will get my 4th and final med and it will come home with me in a pump for 46 hours to wear. That's it for the day. Once I get home, I will chill some more and then rest. My next couple of days will not be the best. I will be tired, sleepy, groggy and just go thru the motions. So there that's chemo in a nut shell.
I will let everyone know that probably in the future, I will begin to wear masks in public. Each treatment knocks my system down a little bit more and my resistance to infection and disease is dropping so I don't need any help getting any germs. So don't be offended if I don't hug, shake hands or if you can't see my smile. It's time to start protecting Tammy.
I had a couple of good conversations yesterday with very close friends. All I get is reassurance that I know in my heart .....that God is in control! He is in control! Of every day of my life. So onward I go! God is good
Leaning on His promises....not to harm me but to provide for me ....to give me a future that will glorify HIM. Glorify Him I Shall.
Thanks for continuing to read this blog. There are so many reading to keep in touch with my life because I definitely couldn't talk with all of you. Love You All
Keep Praying and Keep looking UP!
Tammy
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter - The gift of Life
In Christ Alone
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
Today is the reminder of the eternal life that we are all offered. Jesus died for our sins and if we accept, believe and confess then we are saved. I have done all the above. That is what gives me great Peace. My life will never end. Yes the physical one may but the spiritual one will continue on. God is Great. His love endures forever and our lives can too. Put your trust in HIM and have eternal life.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ
Today is the reminder of the eternal life that we are all offered. Jesus died for our sins and if we accept, believe and confess then we are saved. I have done all the above. That is what gives me great Peace. My life will never end. Yes the physical one may but the spiritual one will continue on. God is Great. His love endures forever and our lives can too. Put your trust in HIM and have eternal life.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
Friday, April 22, 2011
A good night
I have not had very many solid nights of sleep in a long time. It's o.k. because I still feel rested for the most part. Last night I actually slept in the bed and not the recliner. I laid down probably about 10pm and slept till 4am. I woke up then and immediately thought about Good Friday. My thoughts turn to praise and I praise and thanked the Father, Son and Holy Spirit for their presence, their sacrifice and the gifts given to me. Wow. I am not worthy. Then my mind went to prayer. It is always for my family first. I drifted back to sleep during that time and would wake up again. I prayed for friends....drifted to sleep, I prayed for churches and pastors - including my own and others that are dear to me and i drifted off. I know I covered almost everyone and everything between the hours of 4am and 6:30 am. Yes. that is when I got up. What a peaceful, wonderful time. Prayer, sleep, rest, and each time I woke I picked up praying right where I left off. Thank you God. I was so rested when I woke. I have never had that happen before and I would love to have it happen again. It was wonderful so I thought I would share. I have often ask God to speak to me in my sleep and if you have read earlier posts you know He gave me the dream. But how wonderful the gift of prayer in the midst of sleep but the ability to keep in step with everything as it goes along. THANK YOU GOD........ISN'T HE AWESOME, ISN'T WONDERFUL, MARVELOUS, COUNSELOR, PRINCE OF PEACE, KING OF KING, SAVIOR, REDEEMER, WOW. THE GOD HEAD THREE IN ONE!
One other thing....I had a thought about my dream tonight because as you know the Lion I am facing I determined is GOD. Yes the cancer is the dark lion I pictured as a black dog as big as the lion in my dream. And maybe I just needed a fresh reminder. But the lion I am to face is GOD.....FACE TO FACE.....Looking at Him, because you know.....He's looking at the Cancer. The Fight is HIS.....not mine. He has it settled. My job is to look at Jesus, to look at God, to let the spirit live in me with the chemo drugs, the cancer. to feel HIS spirit which gives me strength. Sometimes I look at the process, sometime I look at the what ifs......Yes the What ifs....but I needed the reminder .....LOOK AT ME. NOW THAT'S GOD. I even declare I heard a bird calling outside the window the other day and it was saying.... 'Tammy....can you hear me? I am HERE" over and other. That was God too. No drugs on board at that time. I promise.
Love you all
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP or FACE TO FACE WITH GOD and let him look at your problems. You don't need to see where they are leading you or taking you. God will get you there without ever a need to glance in that direction
Tammy
One other thing....I had a thought about my dream tonight because as you know the Lion I am facing I determined is GOD. Yes the cancer is the dark lion I pictured as a black dog as big as the lion in my dream. And maybe I just needed a fresh reminder. But the lion I am to face is GOD.....FACE TO FACE.....Looking at Him, because you know.....He's looking at the Cancer. The Fight is HIS.....not mine. He has it settled. My job is to look at Jesus, to look at God, to let the spirit live in me with the chemo drugs, the cancer. to feel HIS spirit which gives me strength. Sometimes I look at the process, sometime I look at the what ifs......Yes the What ifs....but I needed the reminder .....LOOK AT ME. NOW THAT'S GOD. I even declare I heard a bird calling outside the window the other day and it was saying.... 'Tammy....can you hear me? I am HERE" over and other. That was God too. No drugs on board at that time. I promise.
Love you all
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP or FACE TO FACE WITH GOD and let him look at your problems. You don't need to see where they are leading you or taking you. God will get you there without ever a need to glance in that direction
Tammy
Thursday, April 21, 2011
A new day
Today has been a good day! YAY GOD! Can I say I got to feeling very bad and very down yesterday so I sent a prayer request out on Facebook. Within 30 minutes of posting that I felt better. I know it was the prayers going up. God listened. He answered. And that is the Power of prayer. God is Good and He listens to His people. Yes I was praying but at that point some of my prayer was words and not what God was gonna answer, even as I requested it I knew they were just words, He has a plan, He is in control and whatever happens, whenever it happens. So let me hush that prayer. Turn to prayer warriors that will pray the right prayer and He answered. He knows my heart and He saw thru the words and knew what I needed. The prayers the notes of support lifted my spirits immediately. I know alot of people don't like Facebook but I find it an excellent source of connecting with people and I have always thought it was the way to let my light shine. And Let It Shine I will! Just like this Blog......This little light of mine....I am letting it shine and sometimes God turns up the light and my heart starts to warm and a smile comes on my face....just like now. God is so Good. My scripture yesterday.....Isaiah 40:31....Those that wait on the Lord will renew their strength. One of my faves. They will run and not get weary for they put their trust in HIM.
Love YOU GOD! You Rock!
Love you readers....
Keep Praying and Keep Looking up!
Tammy
Love YOU GOD! You Rock!
Love you readers....
Keep Praying and Keep Looking up!
Tammy
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
What Can I Say?
Truly I sit here tonight thinking what can I say? I have listened to the the Contemporary Christian Channel all afternoon. Right now the song is
God is in control - Beautiful song but afraid I don't know all the word to that one
Now comes Mandisa: Stronger
"When the waves are taking you under
hold on a little longer
he knows that this will only make you stronger
It not gonna last forever
'things can only get better
this will only make you stronger
Now is Lincoln Brewster Today is the Day! - I am rocking.
Its been another beautiful day! I have spent it at my moms and she has been an excellent nurse. We have had a couple of bumps in the road but we have handled them. Thank God for my mom. She is awesome. I will always say that God gave her especially to me cause It was His Plan. I know it.....no other mom would have done. I have exactly the right mom for me. She loves me, she prays with me, and prays for me, I know at times her heart is breaking also but she is a trooper. That's a God thing too. She loves HIM, she trusts Him and she believes in Him with all her heart. Thank you God for my Mom! For her peaceful, calm spirit. For her gentle reliance on you. For her Faith and for putting her in my life. You are a Perfect God and you gave me the Perfect MOM. Love you for that!
Tammy
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
God is in control - Beautiful song but afraid I don't know all the word to that one
Now comes Mandisa: Stronger
"When the waves are taking you under
hold on a little longer
he knows that this will only make you stronger
It not gonna last forever
'things can only get better
this will only make you stronger
Now is Lincoln Brewster Today is the Day! - I am rocking.
Its been another beautiful day! I have spent it at my moms and she has been an excellent nurse. We have had a couple of bumps in the road but we have handled them. Thank God for my mom. She is awesome. I will always say that God gave her especially to me cause It was His Plan. I know it.....no other mom would have done. I have exactly the right mom for me. She loves me, she prays with me, and prays for me, I know at times her heart is breaking also but she is a trooper. That's a God thing too. She loves HIM, she trusts Him and she believes in Him with all her heart. Thank you God for my Mom! For her peaceful, calm spirit. For her gentle reliance on you. For her Faith and for putting her in my life. You are a Perfect God and you gave me the Perfect MOM. Love you for that!
Tammy
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
Monday, April 18, 2011
How Great Is Our God!
I made it to our easter cantata/drama at church yesterday and WOW. So glad God allowed me to go. It was awesome. To see the story of my savior as he was persecuted, tried, condemned, hanged, placed in a tomb and THEN ROSE AGAIN! wow! I hope if you are reading this you believe this happened. With every ounce of life in me I believe it and I know He loves me more each and every day and I love Him more each and everyday. Even on the bad ones....I love Him. I have to say that the song we sang for worship prior to the drama is still playing in my head ....so let me share (does that surprise you?) I love music!!!!! How Great is Our God.....sing with me ...How Great is Our God and all will see How Great, How Great Is our God.
Age to age He stands, and time is in His hands the beginning and the end, beginning and the end. The Godhead 3 in one. Father, Spirit, Son, THE LION AND THE LAMB, THE LION AND THE LAMB. How Great is our God! ......keep singing...Hope its in your head now and you can't get it out : )
I have 2 things to tell you today. One is of a student that is rotating thru our department in the Cardiology department. She bought one of the purple bracelets that are being sold that say "Praying for Tammy" "Facing the Lion". When she went home her daughter (5?) asked her what the bracelet was for and she told her. I don't know if the next part happened that day or the next day but the student told me that she went outside and her daughter was swinging. She could hearing her saying things so she asked what it was she was saying. She told her mom that she was swinging as high as she could and when she got high she was praying for Mrs. Tammy because she was closer to God when she was high and He could hear her better. Talk about tears in your eyes. There you go.
The second thing is ....is I don't have a clue how far reaching this blog is. A coworker today told me that her pastor is following it at his church and others are as well. Can I just say that I do feel this is my calling for as long as I can. He wants me to tell it, blog it, sing it, shout it, and I AM. God is wonderful to me and despite the bad days, the feeling tired, I know He is near. He's holding my hand and I am facing Him in this journey. He will not leave my side. Yes, my chemo brain may make be fuzzy sometimes but God is still in the fuzziness.
Love you all and please know that alot of you are in my prayers. God has sent some special angels in my life over the past couple of months and I am thankful for them. I know He has me in the best hands possible for facing this condition. While I still don't know the outcome.....God does and I trust Him.
I know some might want me to claim a healing and while I know it is quite possible for God to heal me and He very well may heal me. I want His will to be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Yes, I want healing but I know it is in my father's hands. And yes, my markers are down and I PRAISE HIM for that.....to God Be The Glory Forever and EVER! But please know I want God's will and either way.....I am healed on earth or in heaven. Today, tomorrow or 10 years from now. It's in His Hands.
Place your cares in HIS hands.....I promise they are big enough to handle them. In Isaiah this year, I learned that he poured all the water in the universe out of the palm of His hand. Big Hand - Yes......Big enough for you and me and everyone else to be there - YES!!!! I'll share HIM.....in fact I AM.
Love You Guys
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
Tammy
Age to age He stands, and time is in His hands the beginning and the end, beginning and the end. The Godhead 3 in one. Father, Spirit, Son, THE LION AND THE LAMB, THE LION AND THE LAMB. How Great is our God! ......keep singing...Hope its in your head now and you can't get it out : )
I have 2 things to tell you today. One is of a student that is rotating thru our department in the Cardiology department. She bought one of the purple bracelets that are being sold that say "Praying for Tammy" "Facing the Lion". When she went home her daughter (5?) asked her what the bracelet was for and she told her. I don't know if the next part happened that day or the next day but the student told me that she went outside and her daughter was swinging. She could hearing her saying things so she asked what it was she was saying. She told her mom that she was swinging as high as she could and when she got high she was praying for Mrs. Tammy because she was closer to God when she was high and He could hear her better. Talk about tears in your eyes. There you go.
The second thing is ....is I don't have a clue how far reaching this blog is. A coworker today told me that her pastor is following it at his church and others are as well. Can I just say that I do feel this is my calling for as long as I can. He wants me to tell it, blog it, sing it, shout it, and I AM. God is wonderful to me and despite the bad days, the feeling tired, I know He is near. He's holding my hand and I am facing Him in this journey. He will not leave my side. Yes, my chemo brain may make be fuzzy sometimes but God is still in the fuzziness.
Love you all and please know that alot of you are in my prayers. God has sent some special angels in my life over the past couple of months and I am thankful for them. I know He has me in the best hands possible for facing this condition. While I still don't know the outcome.....God does and I trust Him.
I know some might want me to claim a healing and while I know it is quite possible for God to heal me and He very well may heal me. I want His will to be done on Earth as it is in heaven. Yes, I want healing but I know it is in my father's hands. And yes, my markers are down and I PRAISE HIM for that.....to God Be The Glory Forever and EVER! But please know I want God's will and either way.....I am healed on earth or in heaven. Today, tomorrow or 10 years from now. It's in His Hands.
Place your cares in HIS hands.....I promise they are big enough to handle them. In Isaiah this year, I learned that he poured all the water in the universe out of the palm of His hand. Big Hand - Yes......Big enough for you and me and everyone else to be there - YES!!!! I'll share HIM.....in fact I AM.
Love You Guys
Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
Tammy
Saturday, April 16, 2011
A Very Different Day!
Wow, every time I go somewhere I am amazed by folks who can carry on their lives as if nothing could change it. Gotta buy that car, gotta buy that outfit, need to get here, here and then here. Then I think of how my life's brakes screeched to a stop. I was that person. Not thankful for each breath I took. Taking for granted there would be another day. No, I am not resentful....God has my hand and he walks me thru these feelings but today among such destruction I think of lives changed once again. By destruction of the weather. WOW! It can all change in the blink of an eye. My life could change still in the blink of an eye. Not gonna live in despair, not gonna live in fear and none of God's children should. We put our trust in HIM and he will pull us thru. I have no doubt of that. So if you are face with physical damage to home or person today. Give it to God! He'll take care of it all and all of you! Thankful my family is safe, my mom who was traveling in it is safe and thankful He holds my hand. Makes me think of a song. So Here you Go! Sing along if you know it.
JESUS, HOLD MY HAND
by: Albert E. Brumley
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. As I travel through this pilgrim land there is a Friend who goes with me.
Leads me safely thro' the sinking sand, it is the Christ of Calvary.
This would be my pray'r, dear Lord, each day to help me do the best I can,
For I need Thy light to guide me day and night, Blessed Jesus, hold my hand.
CHORUS:
Je-------sus, hold my hand, I need Thee ev'ry hour,
(Blessed Jesus, hold my hand) (Yes, I need Thee ev'ry hour)
Thru this pilgrim land Protect my by Thy pow'r.
(Thru this land, this pilgrim land ----By Thy saving pow'r.)
Hear my feeble plea, O Lord, look down on me.
(Hear my plea, my feeble plea, Lord, dear Lord, Look down on me)
When I kneel in pray'r I hope to meet you there,
(When I kneel in prayer)
Blessed Jesus, hold my hand.
2. Let me travel in the light divine that I may see the blessed way;
Keep me that I may be wholly Thine and sing redemption's song some day.
I will be a soldier brave and true and ever firmly take a stand,
As I onward go and daily meet the foe, Blessed Jesus, hold my hand.
CHORUS:
3. When I wander thru the valley dim toward the setting of the sun,
Lead me safely to a land of rest if I a crown of life have won;
I have put my faith in Thee, dear Lord, that I may reach the golden strand,
There's no other Friend on whom I can depend, Blessed Jesus, hold my hand.
CHORUS:
Hope you enjoyed! I did!
JESUS, HOLD MY HAND
by: Albert E. Brumley
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. As I travel through this pilgrim land there is a Friend who goes with me.
Leads me safely thro' the sinking sand, it is the Christ of Calvary.
This would be my pray'r, dear Lord, each day to help me do the best I can,
For I need Thy light to guide me day and night, Blessed Jesus, hold my hand.
CHORUS:
Je-------sus, hold my hand, I need Thee ev'ry hour,
(Blessed Jesus, hold my hand) (Yes, I need Thee ev'ry hour)
Thru this pilgrim land Protect my by Thy pow'r.
(Thru this land, this pilgrim land ----By Thy saving pow'r.)
Hear my feeble plea, O Lord, look down on me.
(Hear my plea, my feeble plea, Lord, dear Lord, Look down on me)
When I kneel in pray'r I hope to meet you there,
(When I kneel in prayer)
Blessed Jesus, hold my hand.
2. Let me travel in the light divine that I may see the blessed way;
Keep me that I may be wholly Thine and sing redemption's song some day.
I will be a soldier brave and true and ever firmly take a stand,
As I onward go and daily meet the foe, Blessed Jesus, hold my hand.
CHORUS:
3. When I wander thru the valley dim toward the setting of the sun,
Lead me safely to a land of rest if I a crown of life have won;
I have put my faith in Thee, dear Lord, that I may reach the golden strand,
There's no other Friend on whom I can depend, Blessed Jesus, hold my hand.
CHORUS:
Hope you enjoyed! I did!
Friday, April 15, 2011
A Beautiful Day!
Here I sit in a house with walls all around. I've been out. Had to actually go get a shot to boost my WBC's. It's a little frustrating to know I'm off. There are 100 things I would love to do. In my house, in my yard, in my life, and here I sit. Without the energy to do them. But I will rest in the time God says rest. That's what He is saying. Rest.....so rest I shall. No, woe is me. Just whatcha wanna talk about God. Whatcha want me to think about God! Is there a word to be said or to be written that I must share. I am here. Ears are open, eyes are open, heart in open. Pour it in and I will pour it out if tell me what to pour. I am an open vessel.
Love you God! Love you Jesus! Love you Holy Spirit!
thank you for you strength and encouragement. You Rock!!!
Tammy
Love you God! Love you Jesus! Love you Holy Spirit!
thank you for you strength and encouragement. You Rock!!!
Tammy
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Thursday
It's been a rough 2 days. It started after I finished blogging on Tuesday. It was tough. I received my 4th med and then I was sick....before we even finished I got sick. Yesterday was a blur and I had to wear a pump home for 46 hours which I got off this afternoon. I haven't been able to keep stuff down so they gave me more fluids and meds this afternoon. I have a shot to get tomorrow and if I need more fluids that are gonna it me up again with fluids and meds. Yay Me!!! There is good news. My tuber markers are down from 9000 to 5000 which is way good and means the chemo is working on the bad stuff. Yay.
Still trusting in God, still knowing where my strength comes from and trusting completely in him. God is Good....all the Time. Keep Praying and Keep Looking up.
Tammy
Still trusting in God, still knowing where my strength comes from and trusting completely in him. God is Good....all the Time. Keep Praying and Keep Looking up.
Tammy
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
From the Chemo Chair!
Thought about posting this morning from the chemo chair but hadn't pulled my computer out so now a friend has suggested I write from the chair ....so I guess I will. Wanna know what it is like? I am in a room with 10 reclining chairs and a private room. I am in the big room. looking at the other people getting chemo. I think I am the youngest that's ever in here and that's o.k. I have friends that stop by to say Hi. I was greeted at the door by a friend with a gift of a Lion that is scented. He's so cute and cuddly. So what a nice surprise to walk in to. Then once seated I received another bag full of stuff that I am scared to unpack in here because it was so full. It is coming from the Quality department at JMCS. (and there is quality people in there). Then another friend (a special angel sent to me for this particular time in my life) brought me a gift of 2 books and a bag of jelly beans. The jelly beans have been really good to me today. Yay for jelly beans.
I was here at 9am and at this point it is 2pm. 2 more drugs have just been hung and then there will a push of another chemo med before I go home with the pump for 46 hours. YAY ME. (really it is o.k.)
Sitting in the chair you get to watch people come in and out. So far the room has been has been filled with patients at least once. Every chair. Right now. their is a patient in the private room, and then 4 of us in the common room (i guess I can call it). 3 of us have been here all day so far.
Just to bore you more I am dressed in jeans, purple shirt. my purple wristband is on Facing the Lion and Praying for Tammy.. and my adoptive daughter Karissa gave me a necklace that I wear around my wrist to every treatment/test. It reads Phil. 4:13 " I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me." That gives me strength. I bring my clinching cross my for the portacath access part. It makes me cringe but you know what ....it truly is no harder than any iv stick I have ever had. It's actually easier than any iv or blood draw stick that I've ever gotten. So that is it for this room. new patients arrive all day. Some only get a few meds. So get lots a meds. Some only take an hour while others take all day. I heard one nurse ask a patient if they believed in God and I suspect the answer was yes or this particular nurse would have had a longer discussion.
Nothing exciting is happening. Just me in a chair. Mom and David are beside me and we talk, we chill, David is on his computer, mom is talking with me and watching TV a little. I'm a little bored. Ready to go home. I have crochet some and talk some. Who knows that the rest of my visit will bring. We shall see.
Today I got my 4th drug but because of blood work they only gave me 50% of it. (That's o.k. with me) There was questions to start with over whether to give it to me or not, so they decided they would give it to me just at 1/2 dose.
That's my life today. God is here. I said a prayer to cover this day and I know many others are praying the same thing for me. He gives me peace, he will give me strength, He will be here thru thick and thin. God is Good!
Guess that is all for now. Maybe there will be something else later. Depends on God's lead.
Love Ya and Keep Looking UP
Tammy
I was here at 9am and at this point it is 2pm. 2 more drugs have just been hung and then there will a push of another chemo med before I go home with the pump for 46 hours. YAY ME. (really it is o.k.)
Sitting in the chair you get to watch people come in and out. So far the room has been has been filled with patients at least once. Every chair. Right now. their is a patient in the private room, and then 4 of us in the common room (i guess I can call it). 3 of us have been here all day so far.
Just to bore you more I am dressed in jeans, purple shirt. my purple wristband is on Facing the Lion and Praying for Tammy.. and my adoptive daughter Karissa gave me a necklace that I wear around my wrist to every treatment/test. It reads Phil. 4:13 " I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me." That gives me strength. I bring my clinching cross my for the portacath access part. It makes me cringe but you know what ....it truly is no harder than any iv stick I have ever had. It's actually easier than any iv or blood draw stick that I've ever gotten. So that is it for this room. new patients arrive all day. Some only get a few meds. So get lots a meds. Some only take an hour while others take all day. I heard one nurse ask a patient if they believed in God and I suspect the answer was yes or this particular nurse would have had a longer discussion.
Nothing exciting is happening. Just me in a chair. Mom and David are beside me and we talk, we chill, David is on his computer, mom is talking with me and watching TV a little. I'm a little bored. Ready to go home. I have crochet some and talk some. Who knows that the rest of my visit will bring. We shall see.
Today I got my 4th drug but because of blood work they only gave me 50% of it. (That's o.k. with me) There was questions to start with over whether to give it to me or not, so they decided they would give it to me just at 1/2 dose.
That's my life today. God is here. I said a prayer to cover this day and I know many others are praying the same thing for me. He gives me peace, he will give me strength, He will be here thru thick and thin. God is Good!
Guess that is all for now. Maybe there will be something else later. Depends on God's lead.
Love Ya and Keep Looking UP
Tammy
Monday, April 11, 2011
Isaiah and me
Good evening......Here's a praise. I worked all the way thru a BSF Lesson tonight. YAY ME! I am a few weeks behind because of my difficulty concentrating but I decided to pray to God for clarity, to come out of the fog I was living in and to experience life, to be able to concentrate, and to read. In the last 24 hours I have gotten all my BSF notes together and work thru Week 24's homework. That is where I had gotten before losing concentration but now it is done. Welcome back in to my mind Isaiah and the Servant. In this portion of scripture Isaiah is describing our Christ as He goes to the cross. How appropriate for Easter. How wonderful for me. Isaiah 52. That was my meal tonight served by the Father and it has made me so happy to accomplish this. Thanks for all those prayers said on behalf of me to concentrate. He answered once again. YAY GOD!!! Jesus took on sin, illness, our transgressions, our iniquities and all and died and destroyed them so that we could all be with him. I believe!!!! Do YOU???
One other thing (Amber if you are reading hope you are not disappointed) but I taught myself the granny square crochet last night. I am so happy with that too. I am making myself a lap blanket out of a huge granny square and using some left over yarn that I think is pretty. Next up....is a special surprise for a special person. But Amber if you are reading this we still are hooking (LOL ) up next week. ?Thursday night to do whatever. Maybe we can teach ourselves to knit, crochet, latch hook, (Hahaha) all of them involve a hook. Love you!
That's enough of all that.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
One other thing (Amber if you are reading hope you are not disappointed) but I taught myself the granny square crochet last night. I am so happy with that too. I am making myself a lap blanket out of a huge granny square and using some left over yarn that I think is pretty. Next up....is a special surprise for a special person. But Amber if you are reading this we still are hooking (LOL ) up next week. ?Thursday night to do whatever. Maybe we can teach ourselves to knit, crochet, latch hook, (Hahaha) all of them involve a hook. Love you!
That's enough of all that.
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Voice Of Truth : )
So .....sitting in church this morning, listening to the message as it winds down and I start hearing the trace of a melody coming from the fellowship hall of the church. I was quite a distance away but I knew instantly that it was My Song. I leaned over to David and said.....that's my song. It was Casting Crowns "The Voice of Truth". LOVE IT. It's been a theme song of mine for a couple of years....so here are the words.
Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth
YEP......That's me. It still relates. It still is needed. I have climbed out of the boat. No need to shelter myself there and hide and I am Holding His hand. And yes the waves are laughing at me. This illness mocks me at times and tries to zap my joy but my God supplies.
And Yes I am facing Goliath, and I am facing a mighty fight but my God is preparing me. He has equipped me. He has prepared prayer warriors to stand beside me. Yes the Giant laughs at me, but He should be afraid. Regardless of the outcome....God will be Glorified. Not the disease, not the illness, not even me. Don't look at me. LOOK at GOD! SERIOUSLY.....LOOK TO GOD! He will give you strength for the big and small stuff in your life. He's awesome that way. OH How I love Him.
Yes .....I get afraid, at times but then I pray. I listen to the VOICE OF TRUTH, and he speaks PEACE TO MY SOUL. If you haven't heard this song, google it. It's beautiful and truely is a theme song for me. There are not many people at my church that don't know this. I sing it with the choir. Love, love, love, IT. And the part of Jesus singing over me. Well okay...here's you another memory verse of mine.
Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”
Heard this read by Travis Cottrell last year at Women of Joy and it stuck with me. He sings over ME. My God sings over me. Wonder what his song is????? One of love, strength, encouragement and peace. He will quiet you with HIS LOVE
Thank YOU God. You are :
Awesome - Adonai
Beautiful
Creator
Deliverer
Encourager
Father
Giver
High Tower, Healer
Invincible
Just, Jehovah Jireh
King
Lord
Majestic, Magnificent
Never Failing, Nissi
Omnipotent
Powerful, praiseworthy
Quiet, Quick,
Righteous, Rahpi
Sovereign
Timely
Unwavering, unchanging
Victorious
Worthy of worship
X - exalted
Yahweh
Zion, Zealous
HE'S MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME!!!!
Love ya, Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand
But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me
But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth
YEP......That's me. It still relates. It still is needed. I have climbed out of the boat. No need to shelter myself there and hide and I am Holding His hand. And yes the waves are laughing at me. This illness mocks me at times and tries to zap my joy but my God supplies.
And Yes I am facing Goliath, and I am facing a mighty fight but my God is preparing me. He has equipped me. He has prepared prayer warriors to stand beside me. Yes the Giant laughs at me, but He should be afraid. Regardless of the outcome....God will be Glorified. Not the disease, not the illness, not even me. Don't look at me. LOOK at GOD! SERIOUSLY.....LOOK TO GOD! He will give you strength for the big and small stuff in your life. He's awesome that way. OH How I love Him.
Yes .....I get afraid, at times but then I pray. I listen to the VOICE OF TRUTH, and he speaks PEACE TO MY SOUL. If you haven't heard this song, google it. It's beautiful and truely is a theme song for me. There are not many people at my church that don't know this. I sing it with the choir. Love, love, love, IT. And the part of Jesus singing over me. Well okay...here's you another memory verse of mine.
Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”
Heard this read by Travis Cottrell last year at Women of Joy and it stuck with me. He sings over ME. My God sings over me. Wonder what his song is????? One of love, strength, encouragement and peace. He will quiet you with HIS LOVE
Thank YOU God. You are :
Awesome - Adonai
Beautiful
Creator
Deliverer
Encourager
Father
Giver
High Tower, Healer
Invincible
Just, Jehovah Jireh
King
Lord
Majestic, Magnificent
Never Failing, Nissi
Omnipotent
Powerful, praiseworthy
Quiet, Quick,
Righteous, Rahpi
Sovereign
Timely
Unwavering, unchanging
Victorious
Worthy of worship
X - exalted
Yahweh
Zion, Zealous
HE'S MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME!!!!
Love ya, Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
Thanks for this ~~~~ Thanks for that!
This is a blog of thanks. Yes...once again. Count your blessings, name them one. Nope not doing that tonight, but I could start. Nope, this is a thanks for WATER.
Yes Water.
There is not many times these days that I don't step in a shower with the hot water flowing and say, "Thank you God for hot water". It is instantaneous, Then I get tickled and think thanks for the water and the endless hot water heater that gives me the HOT WATER. There are not many things that feel as good these days as getting in that Hot shower. I literally stand there forever. The water feels so good. It soothes aches, it washes away the day in a sense. I was previously a shower in the morning person but now cause I move slower I do my shower in the evening so I can get going in the morning. And mostly because I want to spend a long time in there. : ) I would have to get up an hour earlier everyday if I did the morning shower thing. Any way Thank you God for HOT WATER and even our conversations that occur during those 30 to 40 minute sessions (seriously, its that long). But the thanks turns into more thanks, which turns to praise which turns to prayer. Nothing wrong with that! YAY GOD!
Now for the opposite thanks for cold water. One of my chemo meds causes me not to be able to drink cold stuff but over the past couple of days that sensation has toned down and I am drinking ice water. YAY. now that quenches your thirst. Not lukewarm or hot. Ice cold water - nothing like it going right down your pipes. So thank you for cold water also. Ain't God good!!!
Yes this was thanks for the same thing, just two different versions of it. Hot and Cold Water. Yes this post is Random, but so am I. And yes God is Good, and He never changes. He always satisfies. Yay God. You are AWESOME!
That's all folks
Love you all
Keep praying and keep looking up.
Tammy
Yes Water.
There is not many times these days that I don't step in a shower with the hot water flowing and say, "Thank you God for hot water". It is instantaneous, Then I get tickled and think thanks for the water and the endless hot water heater that gives me the HOT WATER. There are not many things that feel as good these days as getting in that Hot shower. I literally stand there forever. The water feels so good. It soothes aches, it washes away the day in a sense. I was previously a shower in the morning person but now cause I move slower I do my shower in the evening so I can get going in the morning. And mostly because I want to spend a long time in there. : ) I would have to get up an hour earlier everyday if I did the morning shower thing. Any way Thank you God for HOT WATER and even our conversations that occur during those 30 to 40 minute sessions (seriously, its that long). But the thanks turns into more thanks, which turns to praise which turns to prayer. Nothing wrong with that! YAY GOD!
Now for the opposite thanks for cold water. One of my chemo meds causes me not to be able to drink cold stuff but over the past couple of days that sensation has toned down and I am drinking ice water. YAY. now that quenches your thirst. Not lukewarm or hot. Ice cold water - nothing like it going right down your pipes. So thank you for cold water also. Ain't God good!!!
Yes this was thanks for the same thing, just two different versions of it. Hot and Cold Water. Yes this post is Random, but so am I. And yes God is Good, and He never changes. He always satisfies. Yay God. You are AWESOME!
That's all folks
Love you all
Keep praying and keep looking up.
Tammy
Friday, April 8, 2011
The answered prayer that continues
On Wednesday, when I wrote my last post I had been pretty distraught earlier in the day seeking relief for some pain that I was in. I could not understand why God would not answer and I beg, pleaded, cried, and even screamed out to God asking why. If you read my post then you know He answered my prayer, not in a normal way but in His way. Oh How I love Him and so don't deserve Him. And can I tell you one more thing, he hasn't finished answering it yet. He is still working on me. He is still working in the very area that I needed help in. IT IS AWESOME! I can't even explain how humbled it makes me feel that He would help me in this way. He is an awesome God.
If you do not believe in Him, If you don't think He is REAL, ACTIVE and WORKING - come see me. Really come on over. I watch the discovery channel sometimes and see them as they predict the end of the world. As they tell how we were created, and as they relate even today as to where the water on the earth came from. Did you know is was from an asteroid that crashed in the Earth --------WHAT? PEOPLE turn to Genesis.
My God created the heavens and earth, the sun and moon, the land and the water, the animals of the land, birds of the air and fish of the sea. And then He created mankind. REALLY a cosmic explosioin did that, an asteroid brought water. Did that asteroid answer my prayer? Does that cosmic force give peace, strength, joy, love, etc. Come On People!!!!! My God created ALL and on the 7th day He rested but guess what he wasn't finished. Yes, the story of our lives were complete, but He was here in my house on Wednesday, He held my hand, He held me thru and He hasn't left yet. He has His very own spot in my house. It's in my HEART, IN MY MIND, IN MY SOUL. HIS SPIRIT LIVES IN ME.
Reminds me of the children's song,
"into my heart
into my heart,
come into my heart, Lord Jesus
in to stay,
in I pray,
Come in to my heart, Lord Jesus.
He is my Heart and I have invited him to stay and I so glad He lives there. Never Gonna Let Him Go!!!! - Nope not gonna do it. I am holding as tightly to him as He is holding me. LOVE YOU GOD, LOVE YOU JESUS, LOVE YOU HOLY SPIRIT.
Seriously, if you don't believe, call me, text me, message me, email me. I can show you the One True God and that He is ACTIVELY working. If you don't wanna do that, start reading my blog all over again. He is All Over IT!
Love You
Your sister in Christ
Tammy Wright
If you do not believe in Him, If you don't think He is REAL, ACTIVE and WORKING - come see me. Really come on over. I watch the discovery channel sometimes and see them as they predict the end of the world. As they tell how we were created, and as they relate even today as to where the water on the earth came from. Did you know is was from an asteroid that crashed in the Earth --------WHAT? PEOPLE turn to Genesis.
My God created the heavens and earth, the sun and moon, the land and the water, the animals of the land, birds of the air and fish of the sea. And then He created mankind. REALLY a cosmic explosioin did that, an asteroid brought water. Did that asteroid answer my prayer? Does that cosmic force give peace, strength, joy, love, etc. Come On People!!!!! My God created ALL and on the 7th day He rested but guess what he wasn't finished. Yes, the story of our lives were complete, but He was here in my house on Wednesday, He held my hand, He held me thru and He hasn't left yet. He has His very own spot in my house. It's in my HEART, IN MY MIND, IN MY SOUL. HIS SPIRIT LIVES IN ME.
Reminds me of the children's song,
"into my heart
into my heart,
come into my heart, Lord Jesus
in to stay,
in I pray,
Come in to my heart, Lord Jesus.
He is my Heart and I have invited him to stay and I so glad He lives there. Never Gonna Let Him Go!!!! - Nope not gonna do it. I am holding as tightly to him as He is holding me. LOVE YOU GOD, LOVE YOU JESUS, LOVE YOU HOLY SPIRIT.
Seriously, if you don't believe, call me, text me, message me, email me. I can show you the One True God and that He is ACTIVELY working. If you don't wanna do that, start reading my blog all over again. He is All Over IT!
Love You
Your sister in Christ
Tammy Wright
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Be Angry and Sin Not!
True confession time. I had an issue today that was happening to me physically that I poured my heart out to God. I literally screamed out to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I cry now as I write this because I am so filled with remorse for being so vocal in my cries. I know God answers prayers but sometimes I don't understand why He can't answer simple ones and answer them quickly. Why did I have to suffer? I am so sorrow now that I did that .....that I am in tears. It is not the first time I prayed the prayer I prayed today and in the past....to my knowledge it did not go answered. And I would know if it was answered. In my cries, I cried out scripture. Ask and it shall be given, Seek and ye shall find and Knock and it will be opened. So I ASKED, SEEKED, AND KNOCKED with all my HEART and at the top of my lungs. I asked could He hear me and if He did why didn't He answer. I wasn't asking at that moment for complete healing (although i have). I just wanted immediate relief. I think now of a scripture that I made a memory verse last year.
"During Jesus' last days on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions, with loud cries and tears, to the one He knew could save him from death and He was heard because of His reverent submission."
I hope that was me today.....I pray God looked at it that way.....prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears.....that's what I did.
And you know what ......HE ANSWERED. He showed me to way to fix my situation. It came as I calmed down with the words, Peace, Peace Wonderful Peace. I had to calm myself after getting worked up. Once I sang PEACE, the answer came. He led me into how to fix it.
I look back now and don't think I took my distress and cries to far. I did ask was he listening but even in my cries I knew He was....those ears are always on. Sometimes He does things himself and other times he gives us the tools to take things into our own hands and fix them. I am so Glad.....PEACE still speaks to my soul and the fact that He gave me peace and He answered .....means HE LOVES ME. HE was Listening and ...O' child of little faith. Yes once again the Israelites popped up in me....I remember Moses getting upset with God and God understood.
God thank you for loving me. Thank you for forgiving me. Yes I have repented just in case and I will continue to praise his name forever even in the valley when He does act right away....He is there.
Just wanted to let you know a real story about me, from today, from the heart, and from a person who Love God and prays that nothing separate me from His love. But I already know that can't happen. The Bible says so. Not height, nor depth, no principalities, nothing above or below can separate us from the love of God that came by Christ Jesus our Lord.
Love you all .....and thanks for letting me keep it real. (hope this makes sense sometimes, my thoughts can be fractured at times and so can my writing as I skip from one thing to another.) But He made me that way - so gotta love it.
Once Again. LOVE YALL
Tammy A. Wright
Daughter of the King
Redeemed from Sin
with a passport to heaven.
Waiting to meet Him there one day!!!!
"During Jesus' last days on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions, with loud cries and tears, to the one He knew could save him from death and He was heard because of His reverent submission."
I hope that was me today.....I pray God looked at it that way.....prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears.....that's what I did.
And you know what ......HE ANSWERED. He showed me to way to fix my situation. It came as I calmed down with the words, Peace, Peace Wonderful Peace. I had to calm myself after getting worked up. Once I sang PEACE, the answer came. He led me into how to fix it.
I look back now and don't think I took my distress and cries to far. I did ask was he listening but even in my cries I knew He was....those ears are always on. Sometimes He does things himself and other times he gives us the tools to take things into our own hands and fix them. I am so Glad.....PEACE still speaks to my soul and the fact that He gave me peace and He answered .....means HE LOVES ME. HE was Listening and ...O' child of little faith. Yes once again the Israelites popped up in me....I remember Moses getting upset with God and God understood.
God thank you for loving me. Thank you for forgiving me. Yes I have repented just in case and I will continue to praise his name forever even in the valley when He does act right away....He is there.
Just wanted to let you know a real story about me, from today, from the heart, and from a person who Love God and prays that nothing separate me from His love. But I already know that can't happen. The Bible says so. Not height, nor depth, no principalities, nothing above or below can separate us from the love of God that came by Christ Jesus our Lord.
Love you all .....and thanks for letting me keep it real. (hope this makes sense sometimes, my thoughts can be fractured at times and so can my writing as I skip from one thing to another.) But He made me that way - so gotta love it.
Once Again. LOVE YALL
Tammy A. Wright
Daughter of the King
Redeemed from Sin
with a passport to heaven.
Waiting to meet Him there one day!!!!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Birds praising their savior!!!
I may have talked a little about this before and if asked this morning or given the time this morning, I would have blogged something totally different. This morning would have been about birds and that I think they praise their lord. I know they communicate with each other but have you ever just watched one sing its heart out for no reason at all. Giving it all it has to no one or no bird in particular. This makes me smile. I had a morning not so long ago that I was walking into work and I was heard this beautiful bird song. I started watching the bird. Then probably not out of no where another one started singing. I thought what a beautiful song. I even had said to the 1st bird (yes out loud). What a beautiful song.....is it to God? HOW AWESOME. Funny thing is ....someone told me they tried to flag me down in the parking lot and I didn't even pay them attention. (Hahaha). I told them I was talking to the birds because I knew they were talking to God. (Love that thought). So that was my first subject. didn't know I was gonna spend that much time but I totally enjoyed that memory again. Go God.. and the reason I remembered it today was in the early hours this morning, when the windows were up in our house, I heard birds again. Another beautiful song. If they can praise God......so Can I? So guess, what I did. walking in circles in my front room, hands lifted and praising my King. If we don't do it the rocks will cry out. I not giving the rocks a chance to give my praise for me. Thank you God for voice, spirit, hands to lift, songs to sing, prayers to pray and you being an AWESOME GOD. worthy of praise. PRAISE YE THE LORD! HALLELUJAH. Maybe tomorrow morning I will pull out my cantata CD from this year and sing the Hallelujah chorus. Sounds like a plan. If you wanna sing with me, let me know and you can join right along. Love Ya All....and Don't forget to Praise your Creator.
"I was made to love you,
I was made to find you,
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love and be loved by you
You were here before me,
you were waiting on me
and you said you keep me
never would you leave me
I was made to love
and be love by you." Hope I got all that right but me and Maggie sang it thru.
that's all......nope never started the real reason I was gonna post this evening....started right with what I thought this morning and it made my heart so happy....I couldn't move on. That's all right with me God!!!! Must be what needs to be written, sung, felt and shared. : ) <- self portrait of me right now. that's my grin.
SMILE, PRAISE HIM IF YOU ARE NOT, AND I PROMISE YOU WILL SMILE BEFORE YOU FINISH PRAISING HIM!
: ) : ) : ) : )
ONCE AGAIN......LOVE YA ALL....KEEP SHINING!!!!
"I was made to love you,
I was made to find you,
I was made just for you
Made to adore you
I was made to love and be loved by you
You were here before me,
you were waiting on me
and you said you keep me
never would you leave me
I was made to love
and be love by you." Hope I got all that right but me and Maggie sang it thru.
that's all......nope never started the real reason I was gonna post this evening....started right with what I thought this morning and it made my heart so happy....I couldn't move on. That's all right with me God!!!! Must be what needs to be written, sung, felt and shared. : ) <- self portrait of me right now. that's my grin.
SMILE, PRAISE HIM IF YOU ARE NOT, AND I PROMISE YOU WILL SMILE BEFORE YOU FINISH PRAISING HIM!
: ) : ) : ) : )
ONCE AGAIN......LOVE YA ALL....KEEP SHINING!!!!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
A Shout Out to the Caregivers
Can I just say that God blessed me with exactly the right people in my life. From my Mom to David, I am blessed. My mom and her gentle spirit willing to do whatever I need her to do without complaint or regard to time. She wants to be with me to help me to care for me and sometimes I don't wanna take advantage of her so I don't call. That however is not what she wants. I am her Baby Girl and now is the time to swing into action. I know if my daughter were facing the same thing I would be doing everything I could to make her life easier in every way possible. I gotta remember to put myself in my Mom's shoes and remember how I would feel and then allow her to be apart of of all of this. And apart of this she is, she has been at my doctor's appointments, she was with me a chemo, she comes and helps me here. I love my mom and I can't help thanking God for putting the perfect people in my life for me. He holds the Plan! He knows it all. Even before I was born, He knew who my parents would need to be. YAY GOD. My mom provides physical support when it comes to environment, encouragement, just plain old talking, and whatever I need. She Rocks!!!!
David on the other hand is a whole different support and the 2 of them make the whole. David is the take charge medical person. He is by my side for dressing changes, line flushes, to assists with side effects in any way possible. To get my meds, encourage me to take my meds and to make sure my daily needs are medically met. I can not imagine facing this without any one of them. I am so sorry to both of them that they are facing this with me but am so Thankful to God that they are facing this with me. Holding me hand. Once again, God knew what he was doing. For me and David, the road has been rocky at times but God kept us together for a reason and it could be for such a time as this. I honestly can tell you he took it to a different level today and for that I am thankful.
So Mom....if you are reading this .....Thank You from the Bottom of My Heart! I am so glad God gave me to you! I can not even imagine a better mom in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD and YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. and I know you are my only mom but that's because God planned it that way. TAMMY AND DOROTHY!!!! a long time ago when we were but twinkles His eyes. Take it even further back than that and you get to Grandma and Granddaddy and it will truly blow you away! God is SO GOOD AND SO PERFECT! OH HOW I LOVE HIM.
AND David if you are reading this.....Thank You too from the Bottom of My Heart! I am so glad God gave me to you! I can't imagine a better person to face this with at this time in my life. I can't imagine a Better person to face the whole rest of my life with. Just think God had us in mind to and He kept us together for 18 years this year. I can't imagine a better husband in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD and YOU ARE THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. and once again I know you are my only husband but God planned it that way DAVID AND TAMMY!!!!
Now to quote a little Randy Travis (cause Mom I know you love Him ; )
"I'm gonna love you forever
forever and ever amen"
David on the other hand is a whole different support and the 2 of them make the whole. David is the take charge medical person. He is by my side for dressing changes, line flushes, to assists with side effects in any way possible. To get my meds, encourage me to take my meds and to make sure my daily needs are medically met. I can not imagine facing this without any one of them. I am so sorry to both of them that they are facing this with me but am so Thankful to God that they are facing this with me. Holding me hand. Once again, God knew what he was doing. For me and David, the road has been rocky at times but God kept us together for a reason and it could be for such a time as this. I honestly can tell you he took it to a different level today and for that I am thankful.
So Mom....if you are reading this .....Thank You from the Bottom of My Heart! I am so glad God gave me to you! I can not even imagine a better mom in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD and YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. and I know you are my only mom but that's because God planned it that way. TAMMY AND DOROTHY!!!! a long time ago when we were but twinkles His eyes. Take it even further back than that and you get to Grandma and Granddaddy and it will truly blow you away! God is SO GOOD AND SO PERFECT! OH HOW I LOVE HIM.
AND David if you are reading this.....Thank You too from the Bottom of My Heart! I am so glad God gave me to you! I can't imagine a better person to face this with at this time in my life. I can't imagine a Better person to face the whole rest of my life with. Just think God had us in mind to and He kept us together for 18 years this year. I can't imagine a better husband in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD and YOU ARE THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. and once again I know you are my only husband but God planned it that way DAVID AND TAMMY!!!!
Now to quote a little Randy Travis (cause Mom I know you love Him ; )
"I'm gonna love you forever
forever and ever amen"
Friday, April 1, 2011
Wiped Out!!!!
I had my first official chemo on Tuesday and had to wear a pump for 46 hours after going in. That came off yesterday at 1300. I fully intended to attempt to go to work today but my body stopped me in my tracks. Oh Well...that happens!!! I decided not to go to see TobyMac tonight due to the crowd, the walking, and my general state of health. My child was not very happy but I just could not do it. I know she is having a ball there!!! It is the 3rd time she has seen him since October. I guess you you say she is a fan. Hopefully each day I will get stronger and by Monday I will be working everyday until my next chemo. Say a prayer for me! I know my strength comes from the LORD and I am depending on Him daily. I don't have a lot to say today but I wanted to at least post an update! Thanks for continuing to read. Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!
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