City on our Knees - TobyMac

I just read the book "City on our Knees" by TobyMac and wasn't expecting it to be such a great book.  I saw it when it came out and did not by it because it was $20 and I didn't think it would be 20 dollars good.  I found it yesterday at Books A Million for $6 so I picked it up.  Well less than 24 hours later that book is done.  All I can say is "Don't judge a book by its cover or author".  Now to be clear.  I love TobyMac's music.  I was just expecting a cute book that kinda spoke along the same lines as the song and to a certain extent it was about the song but not in a way I was expecting.  It included stories of people that have made a difference in life.  Alot of it was about the power of prayer and the need for intercessors.  The power of prayer part really spoke to me.  I have witnessed its power first hand.  I am still here because I prayer.  I believe that. I may share some of what I read over the next couple of days on here and/or on facebook.  In between chapters it shared quotes, scriptures and a prayer.  The prayer that follows below is one I have never read before.  It is the prayer of Saint Patrick.  There are several versions of this prayer.  If you are interested google them and read them all.  They are Beautiful.  Here is one of the ones I liked best. 

The Prayer of St. Patrick

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;
Light of the sun,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea,
Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's hosts to save me
Afar and anear,
Alone or in a multitude.

Christ shield me today
Against wounding
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through the mighty strength
Of the Lord of creation

Is that not BEAUTIFUL.  I LOVE IT. 

Well that's all folks, I can't say anything better than the above.  Getting ready to start a read thru of the Bible again on Jan. 1.  I am really thinking of reading through with J. Vernon McGee and listening to his recordings on each chapter and verse.  Its all on www.walkthruthebible.org for free.  You can download the mp3 files there. 

Love you all.  KEEP PRAYING AND KEEP LOOKING UP.

I am still doing Great!  Weaker than I used to be, still losing weight but hopefully not as fast as I did for a while.  (trying to eat on those early days after chemo to help with that). 

Once again, Love Ya

Tammy

Christmas

I've got lots of thoughts running through my head this Christmas!  Back in March/April and even up until June/July I wasn't sure I would be here to see this Christmas but I am still here.  And knowing that I am still here causes some pretty intense feelings at times.  Today is the day we celebrate Jesus' birthday.  Oh where would I be today without Him.  To know that all those years ago God sent His Son to earth to be born and to live as a man and then to die for us all is truly the Greatest Gift of All. 

I have spent time with my family and feel truly Blessed.  Thank You God for the Gift of Life and the Gift of Eternal Life.  God .... this child of yours loves YOU! 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

Good Morning!

Yes, I am up early.  I was hungry.  The first few days after chemo I really could care less about eating.  I am nauseated some of the time and know that eating will stop that but until I get nauseated sometimes I don't want to eat.  So this morning I woke up and felt the need to eat.  So Honey Nut Cheerios it was.  They hit the spot.  I go today to get my pump removed and find out what my new tumor markers are.  YAY ME!  Then out to finish some Christmas shopping since my child is staying the night with her Grandma.  I love Christmas!  The warm weather doesn't affect my feelings for Christmas at all.  Christmas is one of the best times of the year.  It represents the birth of my Savior Jesus, Christ.  Thank you God for this gift.  Thank you God for everything.  I love you and thank you for the gift of Christmas for me this year.  In February of this year, I didn't know if I would live to see Christmas this year but here I am.  Thank, thank, thank you!  I can never repay the debt I owe to you, God but just know that I am trying.  Once again I love you! 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up

Tammy 

It's Almost Here!

It is almost Christmas Day!  YAY!  I love Christmas time.  Always have and always will.  I love the lights, the trees, the decorations, the spirit of it all and the time with family and friends.  This Christmas is extra special because I am still here to celebrate it.  Earlier in this year, I didn't know if that would be a possibility but here I am.  YAY GOD!  Some of my favorite parts are already over... The Christmas Cantata.  I love music and all those months of preparation are a fun to me.  It is actually a little of a let down when it is all over and now we don't have choir practice for at least 2 weeks so I will go into withdrawal.  It's o.k. though, I get used to it. 

I do have an interesting thing to note when it comes to the choir.  For the past couple of years I have tried to journal what is going on in my life.  Alot of time this was written after Bible study and prayer time.  Yesterday as I was reading some things I had written in October/November of last year, I came across one about the time spent in choir practice.  I don't know specifically what happened but in my notes I mentioned that I was looking for a move of God during the morning worship service that day but did not specifically feel God's presence.  What is interesting is that I noted that God waited till choir practice to blow me away.  I don't know if it was a song we sang, a prayer that was said (I suspect it was the prayer) or what it was but I know that during choir practice God was there and I felt His presence.  What an awesome thing!  He can be anywhere we are, we just have to open our eyes and heart to see and feel Him.  So yes, it was probably my fault I didn't sense His presence that morning but Thank God I was open to Him that afternoon. 

Well it is Tuesday Dec. 20 and it is chemo day for me!  Pray it all goes well and that I don't get sick.  I am gonna try my hardest to eat while I am there today.  I usually don't like to eat while getting chemo but then I feel really bad and I think part of that is because I need to eat.  So today I am gonna try eating something mid day while there.  Pray for me on this!  I always eat breakfast before I go but then don't eat anything but a few crackers while there. 

Love you all, Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy Wright

A word from the Word!

Our message at church this morning was on John the Baptist and it was a Christmas message.  Huh? you ask.  I learned anew that all 4 gospels tell the story of John  prior to the life of Jesus.  His message was one of repentance, sharing and serving Christ.  He ultimately gave his life by preaching this message.  His purpose on earth was to Point the way to Christ thus bringing about the advent of a new time on this Earth.  Our Savior had arrived, John knew this.  He knew salvation would come through Him and by Him.  Are we go through this season let us remember Christ.  His birth, His life, His death and then His resurrection.  It doesn't matter what day this occurred on but it does matter that it happened.  So Dec. 25 may not be the exact date He was born but who cares.  My Savior came and died for Me!  Don't forget Christ this Christmas season.  In the words of a Christmas song,  One king held the frankincense, one king held the myrrh, one king held the purest gold and one KING HELD THE HOPE OF THE WORLD.  That King is the one I speak of.  Don't forget Him this Christmas Season.  And be like John...let your life point the way to HIM. 

Love you All. 
Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks

Sorry the delay once again but I had chemo on Tuesday the 29th and Yesterday the 30th.  I felt really bad.  I was nauseated most of the day.  But today I feel much better, YAY!  So to end my 30 days o thanks I am gonna say that I won't end it.  I may not post it every day but there is so much to be thankful for I can't end.  I am thankful for like more this Christmas season than I have ever been.  I didn't know earlier in the year whether I would see this Christmas or not.  I have made it thru Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, the 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and now Christmas is right around the corner.  My daughter has finished elementary school...which made me cry because for a while I didn't know i I would see her start middle school but here I am and she has one 9 week period under her belt and her 12 birthday is over.  Oh How I thank God for this and much more.  I am thankful for time to spend with my mom, my husband, my in laws, my daughter, my friends, my church, and all that I love,  I am amazed that God loves me each and every day.  I am thankful for more time to read the Bible to learn more of God and His works.  To learn more of the Son and the Spirit.  I am honored to pray for others to lift their names up before God for his healing power to work in their lives.  So as I end this 30 days of writing my thanks I will continue to thank and Praise my Father.  To Him Be the Glory - Great things He Has Done! 

Love you All

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 28

Because of something said at Bible Study tonight I have to say I am thankful for mirrors.  If you know me that probably surprises you.  I am not high maintenance, never have been in regards to makeup or hair.  And to be honest I usually avoid mirrors.  But mirrors are useful especially now that my hair is so different that it used to be.  I have to check it now before going out because my daughter and myself have decided that I have Willy Wonka hair.  Yes, my hair now looks like Willy Wonka in the original movie if I do nothing to it and then if I work on it I can actually make it look like Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka.  So if you see me it is o.k. to call me Wilma Wonka.  It will be fine.  So yes I am thankful for mirrors - that way I can calm it down some before going out.

So the other thing I thought about mirrors is coming from Bible study.  If I pass a mirror and see my hair out of place I fix it.  If you wear makeup and it doesn't look right you fix it too.  So with all that said....do we use our Bible the same way.  The Bible should be our mirror.  Do we look in it and see what is wrong in our life and then fix it?  I will be the first to say, No I don't always do that.  I don't apply all that I read.  So why not?  huh....good question to think on.  I won't let my hair go wild without fixing it.  If I saw a mark on my face in the mirror I would wash it off. 
But if the Bible shows me something wrong in my life do I fix it?  I should!  There's you something to think about for tonight.

Chemo tomorrow - pray me up

Love ya!  Keep Looking UP!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 25, 26 and 27

Yes, once again I am behind in writing these.  My heart is thankful everyday and I can't help but give God the praise.  On Friday the 25th I was once again thankful for music.  I went with David and the Gospel Echos II to a singing in Tarboro.  The group and the church sang alot of the older hymns and songs I grew up on.  I heard "The Lighthouse", Keep on the Firing Line, Thank You God for Your Blessing on Me and lots of other songs.  It is amazing how music takes you to other times and brings back memories.  The song "If I could hear my mother pray again" was sung and it reminded me of all the nights I spent at my grandma's house and you could hear her praying before she went to bed.  I remembering listening to hear my name and it was always there.  Oh How I miss her and my grandpa.  Thank you God for Music and for memories of loved ones and good times. 

On Saturday the 26th, I was thankful for Christmas spirit and the opportunity to give my testimony.  We went to the Christmas Carousel and while it was busy there it was really fun to see all the pretty stuff.  While there I got the opportunity to share my testimony with a lady.  I was watching a booth for a friend from church and as we were talking about his Tshirts I shared with her that I had cancer and how my God had worked.  What a wonderful feeling.  Thank you God for your son whose birth we celebrate at Christmas and for the opportunities to tell of you love for us and for me.  At Christmas time it is especially important to remember this.  You knew when you sent your child to live here on earth what would happen to him and you willingly sent him and then He willingly died.  Oh How I love You and Your Son! 

Today I think the thing I am most thankful for is Nature itself.  From the beautiful clouds in the skies to the dancing leaves in the roadways.  God's handiwork is everywhere.  I love Fall for this reason.  I love the clouds (always have), I love the colors and I love all that I see.  The occasional deer that wanders in our yard and the leaves that dance in the breeze.  What an Awesome God we serve. 

Thank you God for all that you give us.  You are an awesome God. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 24 (Thanksgiving Day)

Dear God,

Today I am thankful for all you have blessed me with.  I can not imagine my life without you so with that said the very first thing I am thankful for is YOU!  I thank you for all you have done in my life.  For creating me, for loving me, for guiding me and for listening to me.  I thank you for your Son who died for me.  That is the greatest gift of all - thank you for that and for Him.  Thank you for the Holy Spirit and the way it guides, directs, and speaks in my life.  I know that Father, Son and Spirit are one but yet you are separate in ways.  Thank you for your presence. 

Thank you God for my family.  Thank you for my mom!  You couldn't have picked a better one for me but that is how you are. Thank you for my husband - we have our ups and downs but after all this time we are still together and I thank you God for your part in that.  Thank you for my daughter - perhaps the 2nd greatest gift you have ever given me after the gift of your Son.  I love her so much Dear God and I ask that you always stay by her side.  Guide her and lead her, shelter her in your loving arms always, be there when I can't.  Always surround her with people that love and support her.  Thank you for my brothers. - I know they love me and would do anything for me.  We don't see each other that much but my life would be less blessed without them and their families.  Thank you for my 2 nieces Brittany and Heather - oh How I love these girls.  They were like my daughters before I had one of my own.  I would do anything for them also and I know they love me.  They have always brought smiles to my face and continue to do so even though they are older now.  God bless Brittany and Heather - help them to make right decisions in their lives.  Keep them safe and show them you love.  Thank you for my nephews - Brandon, Connor and Sam - they put smiles on my face also.  They are God given and I love them too.  Thank you for my in laws and the support they give my me and my family.  Thank you for my friends - the ones from work, from church, from school and others I have met along the way.  They also bring smiles, support and are people you can lean on when times get tough.  Thank you for my aunts, uncles and cousins.  God you put my family together and I thank you for doing an awesome job.  You picked a great one out for me!  Thank you for my grandparents that are with you now.  I know that my life would not be the same without their influence in my life.  Their love for You they passed on to me and for that I am thankful. 
If I keep listing I am gonna forget some one-  So thank you God for every person you have placed in my life.  Even the ones that have hurt me.  They were there for a reason and they made me stronger by learning to depend on you more thru the pain.  Thank you for opportunities to Praise You!  Thank you for every day I live - I now realize every day is a gift from you.  I wished everyone saw each day that way.  God you are Awesome, mighty and strong.  You are my Refuge, my strength, my provider, my deliverer, my healer and my guide.  Thank you for all you provisions.  The roof over my head, the car I drive, the clothes I wear, the food I eat, everything.  I have nothing apart from you! 
Thank you God!  Your daughter loves you!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 23

Today my thanks is for Food.  Yes I am thankful for this today because my child has been home all day long and I have not once heard her say ''I'm Hungry".  There are chips here, drinks here, we went out for lunch and we will probably go to Mickey D's before church.  It is really kinda of funny when she is hungry because she can go from one train of thought to another in like 5 seconds and that next train she jumps on may be the hungry one.  And once on that train, she will ride it and let you know she is hungry until you feed her.  (She will shoot me if she reads this).  So yes today I am thankful for food.  I am also thankful that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I will have Stuffing (yea)  .... I have already done a trial run with Stove Top Stuffing and I was successful eating it so I should be o.k. tomorrow when I get the real thing.  It is my absolute favorite thing to eat at Thanksgiving.  Chemo has changed my taste buds and although it has been 3 weeks since I had chemo I still have things I can't eat due to my taste buds.  But I know tomorrow.  Stuffing will be there and so will my Aunt Linda's Pineapple cake .... Yay!  So thank you Lord for food. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks Day 21 & 22

o.k. so I am gonna get caught up here!  I just don't get on here as much as I used to.  On Monday I was thankful for the internet.  Yep, it sure helps you figure things out.  As Maggie was doing her homework it was necessary to have internet.  I learned more about Archimedes because of what she shared while doing her home work that I started reading about him too.  He was a mathematician (?sp) and he truly loved math.  So much that he was forced to take baths by his servants and while in the tub he worked on math problems using ashes and writing on his body.  How is that for an obsession.  I thought it was a very interesting story.  I told Maggie that I loved doing Respiratory Therapy too but I didn't count my respirations while in the shower (lol).  I would not have learned so much if it wasn't for the internet.  It is so helpful for looking up anything.  From schoolwork, to religious topics, to reading email and to writing a blog.  What would we do without it?  I would definitely not be as smart but I might have more time on my hands ; )  but then again it does help make bible study go a whole lot easier.  So Thank you God for the internet and for computers.

For today Day 22 I am thankful for God's timing.  You know I get amazed at things and how and when they happen.  As I think back to my diagnosis and to the dream I had right before it I know it was God's preparation for me.  Even looking at my scripture memory log, the scripture I picked on Feb. 15 for memorization was Prov. 28:1 The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.  I think that is interesting that my verse had a lion in it.  And Yes boldness is needed to face and tell some of my story.  Being more open about my life and condition has been freeing for me and I feel a calling of God to share my story so I have needed that boldness.  (my diagnosis was the end of Feb.)  God has provided lots for me.  I couldn't even begin to start to name all of this.  I still say that one of the first prayers I had prayed for me at my church was by one of my sisters in Christ.  I will never forget this prayer, she prayed that God would provide the manna I needed for each day.  I didn't need enough for a month, a year or even a week, I only needed God to get me thru each day with His provisions.  Can I tell you He has done that!  His timing is awesome!  His Love is Awesome!  Nope there's not a perfect time to get a cancer diagnosis but God knew when I was ready and that's when I got it.  I will never cease to Praise His Name! 

Thanks for reading

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy Wright

30 Days of Thanks - Day 20

I really have been thinking of this thanks thing and there is so much to thank God for that I think I am gonna start a list.  Not just a 30 day thing but just a listing of that I could give thanks for.  I think that will blow my mind to see it all in writing.  I don't think it is something I could do in a day, or a week but it will probably be a work that takes awhile.  Maybe at sometime I will share it on here.  With all that said, my thanks for yesterday is a Thanks for Sundays.

Yes I thank God for Sundays, the chance to go to church.  To hear the Word, to worship Him, to see my sisters and brothers in Christ.  I love Sundays.  Yesterday's sermon was exactly what I needed.  Then follow it with discipleship study on Sunday night and another sermon and it was even better. 
The morning sermon was on Trust and that you can trust God.  Why??? because He has been faithful before and He'll be faithful again.  He doesn't work on our time frame, He works on His but we can trust he will be there.  The middle scripture of the Bible is Psalm 118:8 "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."  Put your trust in God!  I have learn to trust in Him over the past couple of years and he had not let me down yet.  God is Awesome!  He is trustworthy.

So you might ask...what the evening service was about....It was about Abraham and his distress over not having a heir.  God told him he would have one.  Abraham didn't trust him at this point or perhaps he wasn't listening.  Huh???? do I do that?  Do I not listen.  I know that I don't always place complete trust in Him.  So pray that I do! 

Well there's my thanks for Sunday.  Yes, I am running a day behind I am not home much on Sundays.  Between church, lunch, going to Michaels, and then church again, not alot of time left but that's o.k.  I love Sundays....So thank God for Sundays. 

30 Days of Thanks - Day 19

Today I am thankful for my in laws.  Yes, my in laws.  They have hearts of gold and would do anything for you.  Faye, my mother in law is a great Grandma to Maggie and encourages me to keep on trucking.  I see her love for me and my family on a regular basis.  I thank God for her.  Faye and myself are kinda like minded when it comes to crying.  I don't know which of us will cry first sometimes at sad movies or sad conversations.  My father in law Phillip will always be there for me...I know that without a doubt.  If something came up at home and David wasn't here I know I could call on him and he would be here without delay.  Thank God for him and for him being such a great grandaddy to my daughter.  My brother in law Dan has a heart for all that are in need.  Sometimes his concern for others doesn't benefit him but he puts others first and I know without a doubt that there isn't much he would not do for Maggie and my family.  Heather, Wade, Connor and Samuel bring smiles to my face.  Heather checks on me regularly and I know they would be there too if I should ever need them.  Lots of people post problems with their in laws and can't get along with them but that is not me.  I love them and they love me.  It is Great to know this love is always there.  Thank you Wright family for being there for Maggie, David and myself.  We love you! 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 17 and 18

Sorry I didn't get on here yesterday but I had a busy day!  I worked at home, then went to the hospital to have Thanksgiving lunch with the Cardiology Staff, then on to PTA at the school with Maggie last night.  What a wonderfully busy day and it makes me very thankful for the time I have to do it.  So for the last couple of days I have to say that I am thankful for TIME!  Since my diagnosis in February, time has been on my mind.  No doctor ever said you have only  _____ days/mths/years to live but reading about my type of cancer didn't give me much hope.  However knowing I serve an Awesome God I decided early on that He was the one that would determine the day I would leave this earth.  So it would not matter what doctors said, what the statistics said, or for that matter what happen to anyone else with this same diagnosis.  I am a different person, my life is in God's hands and so is everyone else's in this world.  None of us have guarantees as to the length of our life.  Everyday we hear of someone passing in the night, someone being killed in a wreck or other loss of life.  None of it is planned.  So I thank God for the time He has given me.  Yes I am ready to see Him but I also wanna stay right here with my family and friends.  I know my daughter is on loan from God but I wanna see her grow up.  I love my family so much that I don't wanna leave them but yes I love God more so if He takes me tomorrow - I will be with Him and He will take care of my family in a better way than I ever could on my own.  So with all that said, I am thankful to still be here.  Thankful that I had time to go to the mountains last weekend with family, that I could go to PTA with Maggie, that I can spend a day with my mom.  So thank You God for Time, for life, for love! 

Day 18 - Thank God for Hot Water and Electric Blankets.  I don't get in the shower too many times that I don't say Thank you God for Hot Water.  I love a Hot Shower especially in the cold weather.  I am also thankful for Electric Blankets for the same reason.  On these cold evenings, I have an electric blanket that is plugged in by my recliner and even right now I am sitting in my chair with this blanket on.  So Yes, I am thankful for all things Warm! 

That's all Folks! 

Keep Praying and Keeping Looking Up!

Tammy Wright

30 Days of Thanks - Day 16

Thank God for books.  I love to read, always have love to read.  When I first started getting chemo it was hard for me to read and concentrate on what I was reading but thankfully that has changed and for the past couple of months I have been able to read once again.  Yay. I used to read all kinds of books.  I grew up on Stephen King books - loved them and then a friend suggested Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles - I loved them too.  In high school, I read biographies, fiction, nonfiction, historical novels and pretty much anything that looked interesting.  I loved the library back then and went every couple of weeks to get more books.  I remember reading biographies of JFK, Lee Iacocca, Farrah Fawcett, and others.  I also read "The Winds of War" - all 3 volumes, The Thorn Birds, and alot of the classics just because I wanted to read them and not because they were required.  After getting married, I didn't read as much between home, works and life I didn't have time.  After I had Maggie, I picked up on reading again.  An occasional book every now and then.  Then when Harry Potter came out I read all of them.  The last series I started like that was the Twilight series but I will say in the midst of reading them, God convicted me of reading.  I listed all those books above and could not tell you how many books I have read over the years but until God convicted me I had never read the Bible all the way thru so I stopped after the 2nd Twilight book and started reading the Bible in 90 days.  After that I could never pick up books 3 and 4 to read them.  It just didn't feel right to me.  So for the last couple of years my reading has consisted of the Bible and religious books.  It is just what feels right to me now.  My latest books I read are Erasing Hell by Francis Chan (Great Book) and now I am reading Prayer That Starts Revivals by David Cho - Wow - what a powerful book.  I borrowed that one from our prayer room at church but I am gonna have to get my own copy so I can write in that one.  I still occasionally read fiction.  I read The Shack (great book) and really enjoyed Heaven is for Real (actually my whole family read that one).  I don't know what books the future holds but I will read as God leads because some of these books are life changing.  The Purpose Driven Life is life changing, the book I am reading now is affecting me and I can't wait to see what will be next.  I love Books and I am glad God gave me the love for reading.  And yes, maybe one day I will write a book.  Who Knows.....my life story may be in print one day.  I do believe God is calling me to share my story and that is why I am doing this blog.  God is WORKING AND I want everyone to know it. 

Love you all

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy  

30 Days of Thanks - Day 15

So Today I am thankful for Christmas music.  Yes, it is music again but I love it.  And Christmas music is the BEST!  I love it all.  Preparing for the cantata at church, singing songs in my car, radio stations that play it nonstop.  YAY... Keep it coming.  From Winter Wonderland, to Sleigh ride, to Silver Bells and even Blue Christmas.  Then there's The Little Drummer Boy, Silent Night, O Holy Night, Noel, and as of last year when I added a new awesome song to my list the Hallelujah Chorus.  I love the kid christmas songs, the pop christmas songs, the religious songs....I love them all.  There is very few that I don't like to be honest with you!  So if you pass me on the highway and I am singing with all that I have .... it's probably christmas music.  If Maggie is with me, it may be something else but I even get her to sing along with me sometimes.  That's all folks!

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 14

I listed a couple of days of thanks earlier but stopped short of doing the 14th day.  So Here it is.  Thank you God for the gift of Prayer.  Those that are answered and those unanswered.  Just to be able to talk it out with you brings peace.  To say I am praying for you brings reassurance to those who request it that you care for them and that you will pray for them because of your love for them.  Jesus prayed to you and He was heard because of His reverent submission.  Oh Dear God, I truly thank you for this gift.  I have bowed my head, fell to my knees and even bowed low to the floor at times praying to you.  I know you hear me and will answer in your time and in your way.  I may not understand your answer or even see it in this lifetime but God I know you hear it and you care.  So I will continue to pray.  To offer my praises to you, to offer my thanks to you, to acknowledge your awesomeness, to pray for others and to even request things for myself.  In all of my prayers God I ask You Will Be Done on earth as it is in heaven.  God you are my Father and you know what is best.  THANK YOU For allowing me to take it to you through your Son, Jesus Christ. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks Day 11, 12, 13 and 14.

Good Afternoon,
Just wanted you all to know I am still here.  We went to the mountains on Thursday and came back yesterday afternoon.  As soon as we were back it was time for church and then there has not been time to get on here much since then.  So Although I was remembering to give thinks and thinking about my blog, I haven't had the time or the internet connection in those hills to actually do a blog.  So it is catch up time. 

Day 11 - I thank God for safe travels.  There aren't many times that I hit the road for a trip that I don't voice a prayer to God to keep me and those traveling with me safe.  I remember specifically praying prior to my trips to Duke.  Those were some out loud prayers, other times they are inner ones.  I also know as I left my house with Maggie and a friend on halloween night that I voice a prayer before we left because the weather was so bad.  Maggie even asked me what I was doing.  I told her I didn't wanna make that trip alone.  Thinking about it now, it is kinda funny that I think to ask God to keep us safe as we travel down a physical road in a car and how easily I trust Him to do so but let something pop up in my life and I don't always turn to Him so easily.  I don't always ask Him to keep me safe in my day to day travels that are also known as life.  There is a life lesson in that thanks.....Huh?

Day 12 - I have to thank God for Health.  Yes, even as I still fight this cancer, I am thankful for the strength and health I still have.  We went to Dollywood this day and I kept up with my daughter.  I am glad I am still able to do so.  Yes I get tired and when we got back to our cabin that night...I hit the bed and was out like a light but I am so thankful for the time I was able to spend with family today and that I still have the strength to go on vacations, shopping or just out and about with family and friends.  Thank you God

Day 13 - Thank you God for discipleship studies.  As I returned home this afternoon from our trip I was able to go to church and attend choir practice, discipleship study and then church.  Our discipleship studies range from Beth Moore curriculum with workbooks or the other studies such as the one I am doing now titled "The Mind Of Christ".  I love studying God's Word.  I guess I should title this thank God for bible study period.  Between this study and then the book of Acts in Bible Study Fellowship, God is once again teaching me and changing me.  Every time I open His word, I see a image in the mirror of His word that does not look like the reflection that He wants me to be Yet!  But God is still working on me and you know, as I read about Obedience, Willingness, Meekness, Humility I am actually glad that this topics bother me.  It means I am convicted by what the word is saying.  It means there is still a willingness to see the faults that I have and that I am willing to work on them.  I can't imagine ever getting to the place where I think the Bible has nothing more to teach me.  I get amazed at the times I pick up the Word and read something I have read before and then all of a sudden I am like WOW, I didn't get that before.  Between studying the Word for discipleship studies and BSF, it will change you.  I can honestly say these have made a Big Difference in my life.  I remember very clearly taking a Beth Moore class on David "A Servant After God's Own Heart" and reading a section one day that was directly what I was going through and exactly what I needed.  I literally thought that section could not have been in anyone else's book but mine because it clearly had my name on it.  I even looked at the copyright on the book to see that the study was 10 years old at the time and thought.  How did she know 10 years ago that this is what I needed today, at this precise time.  And guess what....Beth Moore didn't know that but God Did!  Thank you God for your Word and for the study of your word that disciples me into being more like your Son!. 

Day 14 - I think I will come back to this one tonight!  Gonna leave you hanging if you are reading this. 

Love you all

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

If you remember my prayer requests in earlier blogs for Charles Humphries - continue praying for him.  He is headed to Texas this week for experimental treatment for the Cancer in his lungs.  He has had his leg amputated and it doing great from that surgery.  Pray that this treatment will work and that God will heal his body!  Our God is an awesome God and He can do This!

Also pray for my mom's Pastor, Jimmy Earp.  He also has cancer and will be starting chemo soon in a pill form.  Pray for complete healing for his body.  He is a servant of the King and I know God can heal him too! 

Thanks for reading

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 10

Thank you God for the ability to speak.  I will have to admit that the reason I am writing this is that I truly thank God that He is in my life and that I don't feel the need to use the language that others use when they are speaking.  I overheard someone this morning as they were walking with a child to the car using 4 letters words.  The adult was evidently upset at something the child did and said several things to the kid and even one that included God's name in it.  I guess because of my upbringing, my morals and the presence of God in my life I have never been one that felt the need to use such language.  I have often told my daughter that you can say the same thing without using such words.  It really breaks my heart sometimes to hear the way kids are spoken to and know that that is what they face everyday.  So today I thank God for the ability to speak and for the conviction in my heart to not use bad words to convey my message.  I think it would definitely hurt my witness to others.  Nope I am not perfect, don't claim to be but I do know that if I feel something is wrong then I shouldn't do it. 

That's it for the day!  Don't know if I will be able to post for the next 2 days or not on my blog so don't worry about me.  Just might not have an internet signal. 

Love you all

Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 9

Today I am thankful for animals!  Yes, those little pets that run around and even the big ones that make you realize just how Awesome our God is.  I have had several pets during my life and just recently I was thinking about the first pet that I really connected with.  Her name was Susie and she was a sooner.  Susie was my friend.  She listened to my problems and to whatever I needed to tell her.  She always happily greeted me and was always there.  I remember going outside and crying on the doorstep and Susie being there.  Nope she couldn't say anything back, only wag that tail but I knew she cared.  Since I have gotten married we have had several dogs.  Mack was a dalmatian and a great dog!  He loved his mama and was very protective of me when I was pregnant with Maggie.  Princess was a yellow Lab/sooner mix and she was my friend too.  She would follow me where ever I went and if you didn't watch out she would lay down right on top of you.  She had love in those eyes I really miss her and Mack.  I used to always walk out my door each morning and tell them both Good morning!  We eventually had a dalmation named Daisy and she was a sweetie and a loving dog.  She eventually had puppies and died not longer after that.  We didn't have her that long. 

As far as other animals, I love watching them.  It is awesome to see deer grazing in a field along the road and squirrels running thru the yard.  Every once in a while I get the opportunity to see birds that are amazing.  Watching a bright red cardinal, or seeing a hummingbird in flight or even the blue bird I saw yesterday.  How Great our creator is.  That's not even taking in to account a trip to a zoo.  Look at the stripes on a Zebra, the patterns on a cheetah, or the cuteness of a Koala bear.  Last year when we went to Tennessee and visited Cades Cove we saw 3 black bears in the park.  they were just freely running around.  How awesome is that. 

My God is Amazing, an awesome Creator and using that gift of sight I gave thanks for yesterday I can see His amazing creations in the animals He Made.  So thank you God for the gift of pets and animals that remind us of How Great Thou Art!

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 8

Today I am thankful for the gift of sight.  As I look around I see the beautiful colors everywhere.  I was reminded of this gift this morning as I looked at my red roses.  They are so pretty in the fall.  Then I looked and saw the pink ones and thought ... well they are pretty too.  This weekend while going to church I noticed the red trees lining the parking lot.  The weather forecasters are saying we are entering our peak fall colors right here in our area now.  Oh how I love fall colors and fall clouds.  They are beautiful.  So I thank God for the gift of sight so that I can see His glorious creations.  How Great He Is!  And the best use that I will ever get from my gift of sight will be the DAY IS SEE HIS GLORIOUS FACE!  For that I can't wait.  So get out there and enjoy God's beauty today.  It's gonna be a beautiful one! 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 7

Today I thank God for a position in our church that is often overlooked.  That is the role of the Deacon.  In the past couple of years I have watched as deacons were chosen and as they served.  I truly believe that this position is a calling of God.  I respect those called into this position and I am truly thankful for the ones that have been placed over my family.  The reason this has really hit me lately is the concern that has been shown to me because of my sickness.  When a illness or condition is prolonged, it is easy to forget that someone is still sick or should I say not forget that fact but actually to forget to check on the person that is ill.  I have never been one that needed a lot of attention.  I don't need someone checking in on me all the time.  But I can tell you in the last two years, it made me feel really good when my deacon would just stop and say "how are you doing?"  I really feel like they care.  We have such a big church that you don't get to know everyone there.  And the deacon you get may be someone who you know who they are but you don't really know them.  But from what I have seen the past two years, that didn't matter.  Once I was under their "care" they checked up on me....just every once in a while and it made me feel good.  I can't explain it completely because like I said, I don't need a lot of attention but just yesterday when I got stopped in the front by my deacon, just to find out if I was o.k. , it made me feel good.  It made me smile on the inside.  You know I think it is the love of God that you see shining from the heart.  There was sincerity and not a duty linked to being checked on.  Yep....that's it.  It's deacons, that accept the call, that listen to God, and use take their position as yet another step in being a servant of God.  I see the servant's heart shining thru and that makes my heart happy.  So there is my thanks for today,  its been on my heart since yesterday and it would not leave.  Thank God for the deacons that have been there for my family.  And can I just add that in my time at WMBC, we have gotten a different deacon each year and our very first deacon will still stop and ask, how's the family, how are you?  Oh, yes I see God shining still.

Join me in praying for all the deacons at our church and for the ones at your church.  This is a position that was set forth to help in providing for the members of a church.  They are their for our spiritual support and we should pray for them daily.  May God bless our deacons and their families. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking UP

Tammy

30 Days Of Thanks - Day 6

Thank you God for the gift of Sleep.  Yes, I definitely took advantage of sleep yesterday and last night.  As my mom would say...yesterday I wasn't worth a "plug nickel".    I woke up, I napped in the morning, in the afternoon and in the evening and then I even went to sleep early.  I must have needed it because I didn't wake up feeling bad this morning.  Sometimes if I sleep too much I feel worse but not yesterday or today.  Yay for sleep, for rest and for time to just kick back and do absolutely nothing.  Now, lets see if I can get motivated to do something today.  At least it is Sunday and I get to go to church and that is enough to get me motivated.  I love going to worship my God and my Savior. 

Hope you get to church somewhere today.  It will do your body and soul good. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking up!

Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - Day 5

Today I am thankful for HEAT.  Yes, Heat.  This chemo makes me colder than I have ever been.  And combine that with a shot that I have to get on the Friday after I have chemo, then heat is my friend.  The shot makes my body sore pretty much all over.  I have bone aches, muscle aches, etc and heat makes it better.  So here I sit in my recliner with a heating pad on my back and an electric blanket laid across me.  Yes, I am nice and toasty.  The heat is also working quite well in our house.  I did venture down with Maggie and her friends to the WMBC yard sale....and it was very cold out there....so back home we came sausage biscuits in hand.  So thank you God for Heat. The heat from the sun, the heat from the furnace, the heat from my blanket......YAY GOD!  Couple that with a good movie and I am set this morning for a bit.  Nanny McPhee just went off and now it is time for Mary Poppins. 

The house is clean so there is not much on my agenda for today.  We have a 50th anniversary party for David's parents this afternoon, along with the WMBC harvest sale and auction tonight.  Other than that I think I will just chill Or should I say stay warm LOL.

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

30 days of Thanks - Day 4

Today I thank God for friends.  New and Old friends.  Last night I had a get together with friends I have shared my Respiratory Therapy career with.  It included people that were with before I even went to RT school and those I was still working with when I had to quit working.  It was Great seeing everyone.  To Teresa and Shelby...thanks for leading me in the right direction career wise.  I will never forget the two of you taking me to Durham Tech to show me around and to introduce me to the RT faculty.   What's really cool about all of this is that some of these folks I have known greater than 20 years and we are still friends.  I know that they would do anything for me and I would do the same for them.  When I started arranging this get together, I tried to invite everyone I could.  Not everyone could make it due to sickness or other obligations but we left last night wanting to plan another one.  So if you could not be there, don't give up we are gonna do it again sometime.  Another great thing is that most everyone brought their family with them.  It was wonderful getting to see family also.  Especially the newest member of our RT family.  Mason Parrish (Good Job Tonya and Hayden).  I truly enjoyed myself last night, just wished we had more time to talk and a better spot to talk in.  Kinda of difficult getting to everyone last night. 

As I said some of these people I have known greater than 20 years.  I started RT school in 1988 and completed it in 1990.  I worked as an on the job trained RT tech prior to school.  I had been at JMH since 1985 when I quit working.  That's alot of years and alot of great people.  I love you all.  I am glad God caused our paths to cross in this life.  So thanks for all the fun and the memories.  I am proud to be a Respiratory Therapist and am proud that I got to work alongside some of the best in the profession.  Love you all!

Teresa Batten
Shelby Holt
Paul Keene
Diana Allen
Tonya Murphy
Beth Bizzell
Paul Geeding
Connie Knowles

And to those that couldn't make it....thanks for communicating with me via Facebook and email.  I missed you but I know we will stay in touch. 

God is Good.  And it makes me think of the song.  Friends are Friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them. 

.....Tumor markers are at 23.  YAY!  GO GOD!

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

30 Dafys of Thanks - Day 3

Today I give thanks for my daughter.  Twelve years ago today I had her at Johnston Memorial Hospital.  I wasn't completely prepared for how much my life would change but it has all been for the better.  She has brought sunshine in my life from the very first day of her being here.  I remember walking down to the old nursery and getting her one morning while I was still in the hospital from having her and crying the whole way back because I was so happy.  The past 12 years have been GREAT.  Maggie is beautiful inside and out.  She loves school and loves people.  Yes, she has a few she doesn't care that much for but for the most part she gets along well with everyone and can make a friend quickly.  She is definitely my singing/riding companion.  We pretty much like the same type of music.  I know she will continue to make me proud.  My prayer for Maggie is that God will always watch over her and protect her.  That He will never leave her and continue to bless her through out her whole life.  She is more His child than mine and I know He will do all of the above.  I thank God He gave me Maggie.  Her presence in my life is incomparable.  So Maggie - thanks for being a Great Daughter.  I love you so much more than you will ever know.  I pray that you will always follow God's leading and listen for His voice in your life.  I pray that you have a wonderful day and a wonderful life.  And just as if I am not already crying I will add the words to a song that makes me cry.  "Like My Mother Does".  Well maybe I won't write them out.  I will just picture you singing it.  Love you Chick! 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up


Tammy

30 Days of Thanks - 2nd Day

It's early morning but I slept most of the day yesterday.  It was a chemo day.  (yuck) but  am gonna have to make my gift of thanks for that chemo.  I am still alive by the grace of God and by the gift of medicine He created.  It is only in the last couple of years that I have realized that medicine was a God given gift.  Even with me working in the medical field, I still felt like it was man made.  It wasn't until I was given a plaque for my office that told me that at that moment  was where God wanted me.  I realized with that plaque that my job was also my ministry and somewhere along that time I began to see all of medicine differently.   I felt burdens for my patients and for my coworkers and began to pray for them.  Yes medicine - the practice of it and the administration of it, and the creation of it is all God Ordained.  He gave us the brains and ability to do all this.  So that awful chemo that runs thru my veins is killing my cancer.  These meds were allowed to be created by God.  I recently heard the story of a doctor that was healed completely form a terminal cancer.  He was on his death bed when God healed him with the first dose of chemo.  As far as I know he is still a practicing doctor in Virginia and He gives God all the glory.  He actually recommended on the video that you pray over every pill you take.  Pray for your high blood pressure medicine, pray for your diabetes meds, and even pray over your chemo.  Pray that it works even better than intended.  God Can Do That!  There is nothing he can't do.
so there is my thanks for today.....Thanks for Chemo! and while I am at it thanks for my chemo nurses.  They are wonderful and they might not ever read this.  But here is a shout out to Bianca (my nurse) - she chose me because I am a problem child ; )  Also thanks to Regina, Tina and Lori.  You make my day brighter when  am there.  Thanks for the hugs, love and encouragement.  God Bless you all.  And Thanks also to Dr. Anderson. 

Well enough for today.

Love you all

Keep Praying and Keep looking up!

Tammy

Day 1 Thirty Days of Thanks!

Good Morning! 

Here we go.  Before I start please note that I am not doing these in order of rank in my life but simply thanking God for things as they occur to me.  It will be random and it will be whatever pops into my head at given times.  That said, my first topic of thanks crossed my mind yesterday and then hit me again in my car this morning as Maggie and I were waiting for the bus.  So here it is....

Thank you God for the gift of MUSIC!  Yes, I love music.  I love the beat, I love the words, I love the emotions a good song can make you feel.  There are some songs that make me cry every time I hear them and other songs that make me smile.  Right now the songs that make me cry are "Like My Mother Does" by Lauren Alaina, and I think I will always cry at the song "Praise You in this Storm" by Casting Crowns.  Some songs are all about worshipping my God and I definitely love them.  There are even some songs that are meant to be turned up so that you can sing them in your car as loud as you possibly can with your daughter at your side singing too!  I remember us going to Bible study one night singing from a Brooklyn Tabernacle CD and we both were really into it when all of a sudden we noticed the people in the car next to us at a stop light looking at us.  OH WELL .... we were singing for our Savior and guess what ... we kept right on.  Crazy or Not - I don't care. 
As for favorite songs, I don't know they change sometimes.  Some songs fit times in our lives.  I will always love the song Angels by Amy Grant (I used to sing that in church when I was a teenager).  The song "The Old Rugged Cross" is special because I taught myself to play it on my clarinet and I will always remember singing that one in the car with my mom.  To be honest I am listing gospel music here because given a choice that is all I listen to anymore.  But I did have a time when I listened to country and rock.  I still will throw a Lionel Richie CD in my player sometimes and sing my heart out and if I would put my Garth Brooks or Randy Travis CD's in my car I would probably throw them in sometimes too.  (that would drive Maggie crazy). 

So what songs were me and Maggie singing this morning in the car.  Actually, we had time for two songs.   First there was "Starry Night" by Chris August...
here are some of the words:
 "I'm giving my life to the only one who makes the Moon reflect the sun. Every Starry Night, that was His design. I'm giving my life to the only son, who was and is and yet to come Let the praises ring, 'cause he is everything 'Cause he is everything" 

and the 2nd song...that I started all over again when she got out of the car so I could hear it again.  Stop Now if you don't wanna read all the lyrics...cause I love this WHOLE song. 

No Matter What

Songwriters: Chuck Butler, Kerrie Roberts, Tony Wood

I'm running back to your promises one more time
Lord that's all I can hold on to
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise
But nothing surprises You

Before a heartache can ever touch my life
It has to go through Your hands
And even though I keep asking why
I keep asking why
No matter what, I'm gonna love You
No matter what I'm gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, I'll trust you
No matter what, no matter what
When I'm stuck and there's nothing else by myself
I'm just sitting in silence
There's no way I can make it without Your help
I wont even try it

I know You have Your reasons for everything
So I will keep believing
Whatever I might be feeling, God, You are my hope
And You will be my strength,

No matter what, I'm gonna love You
No matter what I'm gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, I'll trust you
No matter what, no matter what

Anything I don't have You can give it to me
But it's okay if You don't, I'm not here for those things
The touch of Your love is enough on its own
No matter what I still love You and I'm gonna need You

No matter what I'm gonna love you
No matter what I'm gonna need you
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, I'll trust You
No matter what, no matter what

I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, I'll trust you
No matter what, no matter what
No matter, no matter what

yep .... that's it.  I love MUSIC!  and that song makes me cry and smile.

So thank God for the gift of Music and now for the chance to throw one of my favorite scriptures at you. 

^{Zep 3:17}
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love,he will rejoice over you with singing."

Did you see that .... He will rejoice over me with singing.  My God sings too and He sings over me!  Yes...I love Music and I love God!  He's singing over you too! 


Have a good day!  It's a chemo day for me! 



Tammy

 

Time flies when you are having fun! : )

Good Morning,

I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted anything.  Wow!  I have been a busy lady in that time and thank God for that.  It is a blessing in itself to be busy.  To have the strength and energy to do things.  I guess being faced with a ? timeline in life makes you appreciate time much more and to be honest while I am living I wanna spend my time doing things with my family, with my church, and with my friends.  We have been to the State Fair since I last posted and had a great time there.  Maggie and I had tickets to see Skillet and really enjoyed that.  Yep, I was rocking more than some of the teenagers in there.  LOL. 
Yes, I posted a ?timeline in life above because none of us know how long we will be granted here on earth.  Since I last posted 2 of the people that I had requested prayer for in this blog have passed away and moved on to their reward.  To be honest their passing put me in a state of depression last weekend.  Jason Evans went to meet Jesus last Saturday night.  He was 29 years old and was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer 2 days before me.  To say his death really bothered me is an understatement.  I have prayed and prayed for him and his family.  I don't know why God chose to keep me here longer and chose to take him from his wife and 3 small children.  It is one of those things I guess I will never know.  Oh how I cried over this news.  My only consolation is that Jason went to see Jesus and I know that his family is being comforted by the Holy Spirit.  I know God has them in His hands and they will be all right.  Then after learning this news on Sunday morning, I went to church to find out that Peggy Bowers was being removed from life support that day.  Peggy died shortly after the removal.  Peggy too is in heaven now and is in no pain.  That was a lot to sink in a short period of time.  I pray that God is with both of these families.  That He will wrap those mighty arms around them and just love them and give them comfort.  What an Awesome God He Is! 

Thank goodness, that we discussed heaven a little bit in Sunday School yesterday and the question of whether we will know each other or not.  the consensus was that if the disciples knew who Moses and Elijah were when they appeared beside Jesus at the transfiguration that there will probably be some knowledge of who everyone is although it may not matter there, for some reason thinking that we will know each other while here on earth it is a consolation.  I think once we get there we will be so happy that everything will be wonderful and if for some reason we don't know each other it will be ok.  With that said I personally think we will know or have a sense of each other.  We will know Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit.  I wanna know John, David, Peter, and Paul.  They are some of the first people I wanna talk to.  I hope I get to see my grandparents again.  Oh....enough about that.  (yes, I am crying)

On another thought about heaven.....we had trunk or treat at our church Saturday night.  What fun!  The funniest thing is that our Pastor sat in his space and passed out candy.  He did not have a decorated trunk but said his was the imagination station.  That his booth was whatever we wanted it to be.  OH......How I loved that idea.  I told him I would have to think about that .... but it didn't take long.  If I have to think about it then I have to start thinking about Heaven.  To be honest, I go to sleep some nights thinking about what heaven will be like.  No, I don't usually get a visually but it does put happy thoughts in my head and yes I find myself smiling before I go to sleep.  So there you go, if you have trouble going to sleep, start imagining heaven and it will make you forget your worries here on earth and you will go to sleep Happy!  YAY!

....and yes I am rambling this morning.  but hang on!  and for those of you who have been missing my post....
I have been thinking of posting my thanks for the next 30 days starting tomorrow.  I did this last year but I started earlier than November.  It has been on my mind alot so starting tomorrow there will be a blog a day for 30 days at least.  Just warning you ahead of time. 

As for me and my health, I am doing great.  My tumor markers are in the normal range.  (yay).  Chemo will continue for now and probably the rest of my life.  I still am weaker than what I used to be but I just take my time doing things and take breaks if I need them.  Please continue to pray for me.  I will take all the prayers I can get. 

I will tell you one other thing.  I am taking a discipleship course titled "The Mind of Christ".  It is really challenging the way I have thought about some things in the past.  I truly wanna develop a mind like Christ.  This course includes a listing of Christ's virtues and how we can take those virtues such as purity and pervert it.  I had never thought of that before.  We can actually try to be so pure that we become puritanical and set ourselves above others in attitudes and actions, basically we become Pharisees our self.  HUH?  can you tell that my toes were stepped on!  Not just that virtue but others too .....or ouch.... maybe all of them.  But you know I am thankful that God still steps on my toes or as I sometimes say Bops me Upside the Head.  It means He cares and that I have not finished growing yet.  It means my heart and spirit are still set on grow and I am will to be shown my faults and work with God to correct them.  Yep, I am still striving to serve Jesus as best I can.  Still learning His ways and still trying to please Him.  I can think of no other repayment for the debt that I owe Him.  He died for me, by His stripes I am healed....He did it all for me and you too!  Oh How I love Him!  Oh How I want you to love Him Too! 

Well there is my post.  Yep, it's been awhile but you may grow tired of me in the weeks to come ..... cause I am gonna get my Praise and Thanks On!  Here comes my favorite Seasons of the Year.  Christmas and Thanksgiving.  Yep, Jesus is the Reason For the Season! 

Love you all

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

Sisters from a different Mister

This post is about my sisters in Christ and to say I thank God for them.  If you don't have any then I suggest if you are female ..... get to church and find you some.  If you are male ... you may want brothers from another mother.  LOL.  Why am I thanking God for them?  Because of the support and love they show me.  I was thinking today out of all the times in my life I feel the most loved right now.  I know my family loves me without a doubt.  But I also have a group of friends that happen to have the same thing in common, We love God.  These friends are willing to pray with me, give me words of encouragement, call, email or text me to see how I am doing.  They greet me with a smile and sometimes a hug or a squeeze and almost always we leave with a love ya being said.  That is a special thing cause I know that is a Godly love.  It is not selfish, self serving, or required.  It is a love that comes from the heart and is truly meant when it is spoken.  I am not worried about these individuals hurting me because I know it would be unintentional if it happened.  I thank God for these ladies and even some who are younger girls.  They are truly my Sisters.  I never had a sister just 2 brothers.  (yes, I know they love me too).  I have great Sister in laws that I know care and love me too.  But there is something about the bond of my Sisters In Christ that is truly special.  We have the same focus.  We sometimes have the same problems.  I know if I needed them they would be right there as quick as they could if nothing but to bow their heads in prayer to pray for me.  I have had close friends that were not friends from church but the relationship is not the same.  Actually they sometimes have become disappointing and even to the point of being heart breaking.  And who knows maybe a Sister in Christ will hurt me one day but with my eyes focused on Jesus, He will help me through.  So with all that said, I really can sum it down to this:  I love my Sisters in Christ.  I hope they know that I would do anything I could for them too.  They are in my prayers and if need be they can call me, text me or whatever it takes to ask me to pray for them or their families.  I would name them here but I am afraid I would leave some one out.  Let's just say that alot of them are from my church but I also have sisters that I have worked with in the past and they mean just as much to me also.  I also have sisters from other churches and if I think about it I really don't know how many sisters I have.  (Guess I should share this with my mom, huh, but she will read this I know)  So if you happen to be reading this and you are my sister in Christ..... I LOVE YOU!  If you are my brother in Christ .  I love you too!  If you are not sure if you have this relationship with me .... first I have to ask Do you believe in Jesus, that he lived, he died, he rose, he ascended and he is coming back?  Have you asked forgiveness for your sins?  If the answer is yes.....you are my sister in Christ.  If no, please consider making this decision.  Jesus loves you and so do I.  I plan on going to heaven sooner or later and would love to meet you there.  Call me if you need  to or email me or message me on facebook.  Love you all.  That includes my family, friends, brothers and sister in Christ. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

I didn't get chemo yesterday.  My platelet count is a little low and they left it up to me.  So, Maggie had a band concert last night that I wanted to go to and then we are headed to the State Fair on Friday to see Skillet.  So no chemo means I will feel better for all this activity and I will still get chemo next week.  The extra time gives my platelets time to climb back up.  (Pray for that).

Once again, Love you All

Tammy

I am only Me!

Hey everyone reading this, I feel a little like Stephen King when he would start his books by addressing his faithful readers.  Yes, I was a King fan in my teens and into my 20's.  I read every book of his I could get my hands on.  In fact I still have a lot of those in hard back because once I started making some money I definitely couldn't wait for a paperback to come out.  My how times have changed.  I don't know when I last read a Stephen King book.  The closest I have come to horror or even fiction in a while was a couple of years ago when I started the Twilight series.  That series came to an end though when God convicted me of reading all these other books from cover to cover but never reading His book from cover to cover.  So I stopped in the midst of all the Twilight craze to read the Bible thru.  I bought a ninety day Bible and read it in 90 days and never read another Twilight book.  Yay God!  (Don't know where all that came from but as my daughter says....I am random anyway - random thoughts at random times even though I started a post that wasn't gonna contain the above.)

So what was I gonna say.....I am only Me!  I can't answer for anyone else but me.  I live my life, make my mistakes, ask for forgiveness and in the end I am only accountable for me especially if the others that are doing wrong ....do so and they know better.  I can't make that right, I can't say I am sorry, I won't answer to God for them....they will answer for them self.  Being me and being accountable for me is tough enough.  So I will be Me and only me.  A distinctly different person with different thoughts and different reactions.  If you look at the skies in the fall you see lots of BEAUTIFUL clouds but they are all different.  That is how we all are ......different.  Thank you God for making me that way.  Thank You for Making Me ...Me.  Don't judge me by the actions of anyone else but of my own.  I am Me!

So what is this ME.....  I am a sinner saved by grace, given mercy by the Father, shown love by the Son and filled by the Spirit.  I am no better than anyone else on this planet.  I just know God loves me and He cares for my every need.  I am striving daily to know Him better and to one day be like His Son.  I have a long way to go but it's o.k because He's Still Working On Me! 

Speaking of God working ....please pray that He keeps on working in the lives of some special people. 
Charles Humphries is having his leg amputated tomorrow to remove the cancer in his knee.  He will be taking chemo after that point to rid himself of the cancer in his lungs.

Peggy Bowers- still at Chapel Hill in stable condition

...there are other special requests that God knows all about.  Please remember your pastor if you go to church somewhere.  They have needs too and need to be uplifted.  Some of these are physical needs, some spiritual and maybe some even financial.  God knows them all and He will help.  We think of our pastors as being strong and so close to God that they might not need prayer but guess what. ... they are human too.  Their struggle is tougher than ours because they hear all the hurts and pains of all their members.  Add to that the battle with Satan that they face and it can be too much to bear but Our
God is bigger, Our God is Stronger, Our God is higher than any other.  Pray for your Pastor and if you don't have one....find one, and if you would like to pray for more than one....add my pastor Billie Lawson and even add my mom's pastor Jimmy Earp to your prayer list.  They both need your prayers. 

Love you all.  Pray my platelet count goes up!  It has been dropping and we are watching it to make sure I can still take chemo each time. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up

Tammy

God is So Good

God is so Good, God is so Good, God is so Good...He's so good to Me!  Yes, I feel like singing.  Everyday is a new day that God has given me to live, to breathe, to experience life for yet another day.  I truly thank Him for this.  I love God and I love all that he does for me.

I started this blog last night and got no further than the above.  But this morning as I returned from taking Maggie to the bus stop I had to start praising him again.  Just the simple act of getting to take my child to the bus stop is reason to Praise God!  He has given me another day.  YAY GOD!  As much as I wanna see heaven and I wanna See His Face, I love my family here on earth and wanna be here as long as I can.  Isn't that funny.  Well maybe not.  I guess we are all like that to a degree.

If you follow my posts on facebook you know my markers are down to 70 now.  YAY GOD!  We are gonna continue to do chemo until my numbers plateau.  I almost didn't get chemo this week.  My platelet counts are low and if they keep dropping I may not get it the next time I am scheduled.  Other than that all is well. 

Please continue to pray for Charles Humphries, Peggy Bowers, and my mom's pastor Jimmy Earp.  Charles is having his leg amputated on Monday.  He and his family need your prayers.  Mrs. Peggy is still in the burn center at Chapel Hill from a adverse drug reaction. 

Prayer works!  God is listening..... He may not answer in our time or in our way but He will answer.  I see His work everywhere.  I love you God!

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up! 

Love you All

Tammy

Please Pray

I am copying a post from Jordan Evans that she wrote concerning her husband Jason who is battling Pancreatic Cancer.  He was diagnosed within days of my diagnosis.  Please, Please Pray for him and his family. 

Hi friends,

I'm not looking forward to posting this. As you can tell I'm having kind of a hard time. I am praying so hard for some strength. Jason had his doc appointment yesterday. They are going to set it up so he can have radiation on his neck and possibly his abdomen. The lymph node in his neck is very swollen. After radiation it should get better and improve the range of motion in his neck, it should also improve all the pain he's been having in his back. That was the good news...now here comes the hard news. The docs say in the coming weeks (they believe) Jason will not be able to do much for himself. We are meeting with a hospice nurse soon. The doctors believe Jason's time is limited. We have 4 birthdays in our family in the next 3 months, plus christmas, not to mention extended family members bdays ( 5 of them). We have a bumpy road ahead of us. Where my strength ends, The Lord's begins. <3

- Jordan

This breaks my heart.....Please Pray!

and while you are at it pray for Charles Humphries, the 16 year old that attends my church that has cancer also.  The are planning to amputate the leg that has the cancer.  Pray that God will give this family strength, peace and wrap them in His Love.

Pray for Peggy Bowers still in the ICU at Chapel Hill suffering burns that developed from an allergic reaction. 

My list could continue of people to pray for but God knows their names.  There are a lot of people with illnesses out there.  There are broken families, financial difficulties, mental illnesses that are being faced everyday.  I pray that God will bless...that people will turn to Him and realize how much they need him.  How people do life without Him .... I don't know. 

As I write this I feel guilty that I am doing so well.  No, my journey is not over, God is still working.  I don't know what my outcome will be but I Thank GOD FOR EVERY DAY HE GIVES ME. 

LOVE YOU ALL

KEEP PRAYING AND KEEP LOOKING UP

Tammy





And the greatest of these.....is love!

While working on a Sunday School lesson that was asking what was the true mind of Christ, I really started thinking about that answer.  What is the true mind of Christ?  He was in heaven with the father before coming to earth.  He came willingly.  He lived here as a human, he suffered, he cried, he felt pain, he was tempted, and he was crucified.  He then rose again to join God at His right hand.  WHY WOULD HE DO THIS?  WHY??????  It has to be love....there is no other answer.  He loved us so much that He became a sacrifice for us so we could be with Him forever.  I know no Greater Love Than This.  As much as my family loves me, my friends love me, or for that matter anyone loves me...no one loves me more than God.  And if no one loves me more than God.....then I can love no one else more than I love Him Back!  He gave the ultimate gift.  A gift of love!  And what is His greatest command...that we love Him with all our heart, mind and soul.  That is my hope, my call, my life's purpose:  to love God, mind, heart and soul.  And what is the 2nd greatest commandment....Love one another!  To love one another is to serve, to share, to be available to assist others in what they need....even if they are unlovable.  God will give you the strength and the love.  If His love is in your heart the love will show.  Yes, there are people that are hard to love especially those that have wronged you in the past.  All I know here is to treat them right and lean on God in your relationship with them.  I honestly have people in my life that in my normal day to day activities I would not concern myself with because of the wrong that has been done but if God required it I hope and pray that I in love could respond to whatever He needed me to do for them.  I don't hate or dislike these people and in fact have forgiven them and they are aware that I am at peace with the situation...God brought that peace.  And no, I still don't trust some these people but it's in God's hands so I will continue to respond in love.  You see, we don't answer to each other really.  Yes, a child has to answer to its parents, all of us answer to the law and leaders above us, a spouse should have to answer to their partner but ultimately WE ALL ANSWER TO GOD!  So everything we do we will have to answer for in front of HIM.  I don't wanna have the wrong answer when I stand in front of him.  I want to have loved, served, and given Him my all.  My every word and action is accountable to HIM.  Nope, I am not perfect.  I don't do everything I should the right way but I am trying and I pray that God will direct my paths and keep me straight.  Yes, I am rambling this afternoon.  Got alot on my mind for some reason.  That happens some times and I guess today is one of those days.  Part of it is a burden I some times feel for others.  I really think people forget God is present everywhere.  He SEES ALL and KNOWS ALL.  We can't hide things from him.  Whether it is a sin committed, a denial of Him, or just plain being lazy instead of working for Him....He knows it!  We can look good to each other, we can go to church and be very busy there but are we really working for GOD!  Are we doing what the spirit is leading us to do????  That's a question I am asking myself.  So this post like most of the ones about God are....is for me more than anyone else.  Me and God work alot of things out by me writing them down in a journal, on a blog or in the margin of a bible study book.  Go God....I like working things out with you!  It means you are not finished with me yet and your spirit is prompting these thoughts in my head.  Keep them coming!  I will keep listening and thinking on such things.  I wanna Love like You Love to repay Your gift of love to me. 

I haven't blogged since last week so I didn't post on here that my cancer markers are at 92!  WOW!  God is still working!!!  He has been so good to me.

Enough for now.  I am excited that my Monday night bible study has started back up and I am well enough to go.  We are doing the Book of Acts this year as well as some other books by Paul!  Also discipleship studies start at church this coming Sunday and guess what I am taking "The Mind of Christ".  I can't wait to dive in to His Word.  I admit I don't do so well on my own...I need structure so structure is coming my way.  Ready to Get Busy in His Word! 

Love you All

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Lessons my Grandma taught me!

I have been thinking this evening about my Grandma.  Don't know why but it happens sometimes.  I miss her and my Grandpa alot.  I know their final destination is Jesus so they are in a better place.  I spent weeks in the summer with my grandparents and pretty much if we went on vacation as a child we went with them.  They took us to the mountains at least twice and I know we went to the beach once.  those were good times.  My grandpa was a quite man.  He liked to tease and although He wasn't vocal about how much he loved you....you could tell in words and actions that he did.  Love you Grandpa Moore

My grandma Moore on the other hand was very vocal.  She loved God and didn't mind sharing Him with you.  I remember bible stories from grandma, reading her many books (she left some of them to me) and going to bible school each summer with them.  Those were great days.
Things she taught me:
1.  Brush my hair before I went to her house (LOL)  wish she could see it now.
2.  Respect those older than you!  And yes I respected her - she had switches and knew how to use them.
3.  Respect your pastor - He is called of God!  To go against Him is to go against God himself.
4.  That if God has placed a calling on your life - you don't have a choice of whether to fulfill it or not.  She used to say preach or burn when referring to the call to preach and then choosing to ignore a true call.  I know I don't want to decide on my own not to do something God called me to do.  (yes, this remembrance today is convicting).
5.  Just because you are a christian doesn't mean you have to let people run over you.  You stand up for what is right in every situation.  Even if others mean well...pray for discernment and when God reveals to you the right thing....stand by it.  God will not lead you astray.
6.  Say a prayer before every meal....(no I am not always good at this but I need to get that way.)
There is one other thing that I thought of above but forgot it when it came time to post.  Maybe it will come back. 

My Grandma Moore was an outspoken woman who loved God, her family and friends.  I don't thing there was anything she wouldn't do for someone in need.  She believed in the power of prayer and I can truly say she served as an example to me in this area of christian life.  I never stayed a night with her that after we had gone to bed that I didn't hear her kneeling beside her bed and praying for everyone before she went to sleep.  It is wonderful to hear your name in prayer being lifted up by your grandma and knowing that she prayed for you every day of your life.  She also loved to read and shared books with me.  She was intimidated sometimes by the topics in the Bible because she felt she wasn't educated enough to learn all she could but you know it doesn't matter your education level.  The Holy Spirit reveals through the word what is needed for you at any particular time of life.  He has worked that way since Pentecost.  Thank you for the Spirit Lord! 

My grandparents laid a spiritual foundation for me to grow on.  They didn't bring about my salvation.  That happened when I was 10 and I asked God in to my heart and believed upon His Son.  I have not been the same since.  Yes I fell away for awhile but He brought me back ....He sought me and He bought me with His redeeming love  and I have Victory In Jesus!  I really don't know if our grandparents will know us in heaven...I hope so but all of that will be pale in comparison to meeting My God and King!  One of These Days....I'm gonna walk these streets of Gold that are paved for me.

Yes I am a little Crazy....Crazy for Jesus or as Toby Mac sings...what would people say if they know that I'm a Jesus Freak.  You know what I don't care.  I am what I am!  Might have to just go see Toby again this year!  Got my Skillet tickets for the state fair.  Can't wait!  Rocking for Jesus. 

And now we break for a Tammy Update:

The MRI today showed that my liver lesions are now looking more like scar tissue.  ?so that may be gone (dead).  The pancreas tumor is not progressing.  Possible ablations or radiation in my future.  Chemo will continue until my markers plateau.  currently at 141.  I am banking on reaching 37 this week.  Dr. Anderson says it will be 75.  we shall see  : )  either way it's a drop!  God is still Good.  He is Working all the time and O' How I love Him!  Thanks for all your prayers.

Keep praying and keep looking up! 
Love you all!

Tammy

A Mother's Pride

This post is about my daughter whom I love very much. In the past couple of weeks with the start of middle school I have seen a child that is growing faster than I want her too.  She is becoming quite the independent young lady which makes me a little sad and very proud at the same time.  I am a little sad because she doesn't need mom as much but proud because she takes things into her own hands and takes care of them on her own.  She recently told me about an email she sent to the crayola company because she had lost a pen to a special notebook that she had gotten.  She asked them in the email where to purchase a replacement pen and included all of her contact information.  They sent her back a response which is when she shared with me what she had done (I was amazed) and then within a couple of days she got a replacement pen for free.  That is taking matters into your own hands.  She also has something going on at school that she is a little concerned about so she has taken this matter to her teacher and is receiving assistance.  I am glad she recognized what she needed and asked for help.  Go Maggie!  I know we all think our child is the best and I also know there are a lot of good kids out there but I truly thank God for mine.  She is a wonderful daughter.  She has a loving heart, makes friends easily and is very creative.  She will never know completely how much I love her although I tell her all the time.  I also tell her that she is my best daughter to which she rolls her eyes because she is my only daughter.  I pray that God will always be by her side and guide her life.  That He will protect her and keep her safe.  She is actually not my child, she is His!  This is something that I had to come to terms with when I was first diagnosed and I didn't know how long I would be here for her.  I just have to thank God for her and thank Him for each day He gives me to be her mom!  I know He will always be with her when I can't be and that brings me PEACE.  I truly trust her care to God!  He is directing her path as He is directing mine. 

That's enough about that.  I have chemo tomorrow and expect to learn my MRI results.  I will let you know what I find out.  I am expecting a positive report.  God Has This and either way I am in His hand.  Thank you God for that.  Thank you for your spirit that lives in me and provides comfort and peace.  I don't deserve God's love or provisions but He provides for me anyway because He loves and He looks beyond my faults and sees my needs.  I can never thank Him enough.  Thank You Father above! 

I still have some folks I would love for you to pray for.
Charles Humphries - going to a cancer center in Texas tomorrow to learn about more treatment options. 
Peggy Bowers - in the UNC burn center after an allergic reaction to meds. 
Jason Evans - Jason has the same cancer I have and was diagnosed around the same time I was.

I know God's presence is surrounding Charles, Peggy and Jason and He will provide for them as He has provided for me. 

One more thing, I am in Bible Study Fellowship which is a Bible study in which we go thru books of the bible.  Tonight is the first night back since May and I am excited.  I actually stopped going earlier than May because of all that I had going on then but I got all the lessons and kept up with what was going on at home.  Last years study was Isaiah and it was what I needed right when I needed it.  To learn the scripture about God's righteous right hand weeks before I needed it is right on time.  That is how God is.....Right on Time. 

^{Isa 41:10} So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

This year is a study of the book of Acts.  I really can't wait to jump in and dig into His word.  I am sure it will be right on time also. 
Keep praying for me!  And keep looking UP!

Tammy

Just to say HI

Well....thought I would write a line or two to say HI!  I had my MRI this afternoon.  I don't know what they saw (sorry) they are not suppose to tell me and I didn't know the person giving me the MRI she was new.  I feel good about it and am at peace no matter the findings.  I really believe we will see that my cancer has shrunk some more or that it is not even there any more at all.  I spent time in the chamber praying that prayer.
It is actually kinda of peaceful in there if you can get over the containment part of it.  I am literally all the way in when I have my pancreas and liver scanned.  If I open my eyes the chamber is literally only a couple of inches from my face.  At least there is air blowing in there.  It can be a little scary actually and I will be honest and say I am usually glad when it is over.  If you notice above I said If I open my eyes, haha, I usually keep them closed so I don't have to notice how close I am to the top of the machine.  I did find myself getting a little nervous today so I started to sing (nope, not out loud) ...Peace, Peace Wonderful Peace....but that didn't quite feel right so I switched to Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.  There's just something about that name.  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus like the fragrance after the rain.  (now that's a peaceful song).  Well enough for now.  I will let you know when I know something - I promise.

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy

Prayer

I am so glad for the gift of prayer that God has provided us.  Prayer brings peace to me in times of trouble, distress, pain, hurt and even happiness.  Prayer for me can be bowing to my knees, simply bowing my head, or even just talking out loud to God with my eyes wide open.  I feel I can talk to God about anything and I do quite frequently.  I didn't realize till recently that the gift of intercession was something God had given me.  With that said anyone can pray anytime and anywhere.  We took a spiritual gift assessment at our church and while intercession was not my number one gift, it did rank as number 3.  With that awareness I now look at prayer in a slightly different way.  I have always been taught if you do not use your gifts you will lose them.  Before this assessment showed this gift, I prayed but now I feel empowered to pray.  Does that make sense?  I feel it is my duty.  And No, I am not praying now as a job I have to do but I feel that God places things on my heart that He wants me to pray for and I feel led to pray for them.  This urge to pray sometimes feels like a weight on my heart but when I pray God lifts that weight.  Sometimes the need to pray for an individual or situation remains on my heart.  Tonight I am once again feeling that heaviness.  It's not a bad thing, in a way I feel it is a privilege to feel the urge to pray and to continue to feel that urge even after the initial prayer.  I know His spirit is calling me, I know He is connecting with me, and I know I have a job to do.  So I pray,  I believe and I trust that my prayers will be heard.  I firmly believe that God answers prayers.  I believe my God can heal and correct situations instantly.  I also know that God has a plan for each of his children's lives and I believe that He works His will in each of our lives.  Since taking a discipleship class on prayer last spring I pray God's will be done even when it is not my will.  What is better than His Will.......nothing even if we don't understand it.  So God's Will Be Done in my life and in others. 
Tonight I am praying for Charles Humphries a 16 year old with cancer.  Charles was taken back to Chapel Hill this afternoon.  Please remember him and his family in your prayers.

I am also praying for fellow choir member Peggy Bowers.  Peggy is in Chapel Hill's burn center with a reaction to medication that is called Steven Johnson syndrome.  It is causing burn like symptoms all over her body.  This is very rare and she is on life support and being kept sedated while this process continues in her body.  Her husband today said she will get worse before she gets better. 

Also we received a prayer request tonight for a mom of 2 small children that attempted suicide today.  This breaks my heart.  I think of those fighting for their lives and the fact that someone was low enough to try to take theirs prematurely breaks my heart.  Please, please remember her in prayer.

God is Good and He has provided us the gift of prayer for a reason.  Yes, He already knows these requests but He wants to hear from us and by praying for these request we get to be apart of the blessing that is received when these prayers are answered. 

Thanks for all the prayers for me.  My markers were down to 141 this week.  MRI will be done on Wednesday.  God is working in my life.  I told my mom today I wanted a tshirt that said....I am a miracle....ask me how.  My life, each day is a gift from God.  To see my child start middle school was a gift.  Oh How I love HIM and I will say it a million times....I don't deserve His love or His goodness to me but He provides it anyway.  Jesus, Jesus, there's just something about that Name!  Master, Savior, Jesus, like the fragrance after the rain.  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, let all heaven and earth proclaim, Kings and Kingdoms may all pass away but there's something about that name. 

Keep Praying and Keep Looking Up!

Tammy